My freshman year I decided to go Greek. I wanted some girls to hang out with and values to share, but I also secretly had high expectations: perfect friends, popularity, instant confidence and amazing crafting skills. High expectations often disappoint, and this was no exception. I did learn a couple of valuable lessons.
You're not besties with everyone-- and that's great.
I assumed when joining it would take a couple of weeks but I would soon become good to great friends with everyone in the house. It embarrassed me beyond belief that I still had to sneak peaks at composites to get peoples' names down after the first month. I also realized that I wasn't a carbon copy or a close match to everyone in the house like I thought I would be, but that made the house more interesting and dynamic. I heard many different points of view and began to think more about issues I assumed would have an easy fix: budgeting, philanthropy, even what to wear for next year's recruitment.
Leadership won't descend upon you, it's a hard-earned skill.
Maybe I was the only one thinking this, but for a long time in my first year I thought I would kind of naturally slide into leadership positions without any problems. I felt like the leadership skills I would need would be handed to me in a shiny pamphlet by my successor. Writing this out loud makes it seem all the sillier. However, I learned that leading, like becoming better friends with the house, is more about listening than telling people what to do or having everything worked out by yourself at the beginning. There's not a timeline for anything, you don't have to be at a certain place in a certain time. Everyone in the house had their own experiences and journeys with leadership, and we all have a place even if it's not a leadership position at all. There was more value in working together than being the boss of someone.
You don't have to look or be a certain way to be Greek.
I was extremely nervous going into recruitment because I had exactly zero Lilly dresses (which didn't matter because I didn't even fit into the size range anyway), and I had never worn a sunhat in my life. I wasn't tall, tan or thin. I freaked out the whole summer and tried to lose weight, get a tan, make my hair blonder naturally, perfect my Instagram, and a zillion more useless things. When I actually walked into the house and met girls, I was so surprised. They looked so normal. Basically being Greek has almost nothing to do with how you look, but how you act. It was far more important to present yourself, just how you were, with respect and dignity than to present it in a certain color or a certain size. I still struggle today with being myself, but seeing all kinds of women represented in Greek life helped me make some small steps forward in self acceptance.
Greek life is different on every campus, and sometimes stereotypes and false assumptions still remain about people; honestly, mistaken thinking is a part of every area of life. However, I'm glad that I stuck with it, and I hope that others with the same fears will be able to make a home for themselves during their college years.
