When going from high school to college, you're stepping into a whole different world. Not that this is "the real world," as my 13-year-old brother would call it. But, you're one step closer to being on your own. That being said, college is a time to learn, whether you really want to or not. Most days come with a slap-in-the-face lesson, and you have to adjust.
1. Living with someone other than me, myself, and I
Even if you don't plan on having a roommate after college or getting married, chances are you'll have to live with someone your Freshmen year of college. When choosing housing for my first year, I elected to have a roommate assigned to me. A stranger. Why? Because getting to know new people is the only way to truly educate yourself about the world around you. Sure, you can read articles online all day long about what it's like to live on a farm, but until you live with someone who grew up on a farm and hear their stories and experiences, you'll never know what it's really like.
Learning how to make friends with your roommate will not only help you feel at ease in your new surroundings, but it will also be a guide as to how to work with people different from you. And, while sharing a small (in my case, very small) living area with someone, you learn how to respect the space and belongings of those around you.
2. It's not a good idea to invite strange people into your dorm room
If you do, chances are it could go south really quickly. I have a good friend who likes to visit my dorm room. He's a great guy, but he is also restless. While sitting around talking with my roommate and me, he will move from one chair to another and swing on our lofted bed frames. It's not a rare occurrence to completely readjust our things when he leaves.
Another, blatantly obvious, reason is that if you aren't looking to get into the college "hook up" culture, but invite someone of the opposite gender into your room, you could enter that realm without a second thought. And then you could be putting towels away one day and find a condom in your drawer, one you certainly did not buy.
3. Don't sacrifice what you want to fit in
Yeah, this one is obvious, too, but it can be kind of tricky for new, vulnerable college students who want to find where they "belong." But this isn't high school. You aren't going to "belong" anywhere, at least not for the first couple of years. It's good to have different friend groups. Meaning, if someone invites you to do something you don't want to do, then, seriously, don't do it. Someone once asked me to go rock climbing with them. I hate rock climbing, therefore, I didn't go. And, the person is still my friend today.
4. But don't be afraid to do something new
One of the things I don't regret is joining my school's swing dance club. A lot of people ask me why on earth I would go dance with some awkward people I don't know. And you know why? Because I'm just as awkward. I've made several friends in the club after just one semester.
Another thing I'm especially proud of is going caving. I'd always wanted to go, but never had the chance. When someone I had met not even a week before asked me to go caving, I was all in. When I saw that I had to scale down, and later up, a forty foot cliff, was I terrified? Yes. Did I cry a little when I realized I had to do it? Maybe. Did I love every minute of it? Tech yeah.
5. If you don't do the work, it won't get done
If you wait until 9:50 a.m. to write an essay due at 10 a.m., you probably won't get it done. True story. No one is going to do your work for you, and if you screw up a presentation in class because you partied the night before instead of preparing, you will look like a fool. Hard work makes the world go 'round, and if you aren't willing to put in your fair share, then you won't graduate when you want to.
One side note, I'm super grateful to my roommate for nagging me to do my math homework every night, because otherwise, I wouldn't have done it. And I would have failed.
6. Stand up for yourself
College is kind of weird in the fact that you may not have a home. You've got your house where your family lives and you have your dorm or apartment. But home is in the hearts of the people you love. During the transition that is college, it's easy to lose your way. Some people don't make an appearance in your life anymore. Their support for you fades and you meet new people that you can't place all of your faith in yet.
And that's OK. But if it ever feels like someone is using you to get to the next rung in the "social ladder," leave. Stand up and tell that person you deserve much better. This is one of the hardest lessons of growing up: learning who you need to live without. Whether that's your friend you met at the beginning of the semester or the person you've called your best friend for seven-plus years. If they're throwing you to the wayside to advance their own agenda, they aren't on your team.
All in all, college is great. But there are hard, scary, and sad lessons to learn. So, here's a heads up.
