Friendships last because of two people who mutually respect each other, wanting to be there for each other. This past week I have learned that being a friend to someone does not just mean going out with them and having a fun time at a club. Friendship is not about gossiping or constantly making jokes (though that is what happens a lot in all friendships!).
No, friendship is about loving the person you are friends with through thick and thin. I'm not saying you have to be their friend if they disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable, because that is not healthy at all. I'm saying that the people we are friends with have lives outside of those late night diner dates after the club. They are dealing with careers, family, other friends and relationships. And you do not have to be their best friend to lend a shoulder to cry on every once in a while. You can be a good friend by being understanding that every person in your life has a life of their own and every day, their moods will change, whether it is directed at you or not.
This past week I have learned to hold a friend's hand, because, despite everything that friend has put me through (and it is about five years worth of craziness), I know in my heart that they are genuine and kind. And behind their laidback demeanor, that person is constantly tense and sad. It is because of that, I have remained the friend. Not because I feel bad or pity them, but because I know they need a friend.
When I was in a dark place, that person brought me into the light and has done a lot more for me than they would ever know. Their late hardships have made me realize that, in a way, I have grown up with this person and I have loved this person from the moment I met them. And despite the tears, fights and hurtful words, we have always found a way to make each other smile, laugh and happier, even if it was just one night out of the month.
No, this person is not my best friend - who by the way, has also taught me a thing or two about friendship this week - but they are someone that I can trust. Their friendship means the world to me and I wouldn't change anything we have gone through, because it has established something much stronger than I could ever imagine. I have found an unexpected friend in an unexpected place. And because of this particular friend, I have learned that being a good friend means a lot more than being able to make someone smile. It means being able to accept the worst parts of someone and still show them that you love them and care about them, no matter what.
