I have always been a person who loves love. I love romance movies and books. I cry at weddings and I dream that one day I will find the man that will sweep me off my and change everything for me. For as long as I can remember I have watched myself and others define their happiness on whether they have a guy or in their life or not. This began to seem kind of twisted to me over the past few months as I transitioned into college life. Why I didn't realize it before is beyond me.

As I watched other students at school, I realized that more people feel this way than those that don't. A lot of us look at what the people in the movies get and we expect to get that too. It's almost as if media gears us to look at life this way, and it's kind of crapy. I've seen people get disappointed over and over, and I just started to think about it. Why do we let people treat us this way? Why do we think that people will change when we've given them every chance to do so? Then I started to realize that this carries over to other relationships like friendships, parents and other family.

We expect so much from people. We expect people to live up to this fairy tale that we've built up in our minds. As children our parents are superheroes and some part of us expects them to stay that way. We expect our friends to be things they can't be. We expect surprises, perfect responses and for people to literally be there when we need them. We expect far to much of people and we're let down. We're let down, sad and angry. What we have to realize is that this may be somewhat our fault. Or the media's fault if you really want someone to blame, but that's stretching it.

It took me awhile to realize this, almost 19 years I guess. I read books that told me this, specifically Paper Towns by John Green, in which he says "What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person", and a very close friend of mine told me over and over that you can only expect of a person what they can give. Green was right and so was my friend. This world tells us to expect perfection, and then tells us nobody is perfect. It says, "Never take less than you deserve" then says "what you deserve is more than anyone can give." This world is a walking contradiction, and we all want to believe both sides. The problem is that only one side is true, and we often believe just the opposite.

I'm not telling you that you dream too big or that the perfect man will never come, what I'm saying is to stop expecting so much from people when they can't give it. Stop expecting that guy or girl to stop cheating when they've done it twice before. Stop expecting your parents to understand exactly why you're switching majors your junior year of college. Stop expecting your best friends to respond exactly the way you need them to. It isn't their fault that they don't live up to your expectations, and it isn't your fault that you don't live up to theirs.

The only person who can make you happy is you. I'm sorry that is so cheesy, but unfortunately it is the truth. The moment that you let your happiness depend on someone else's actions is the moment that you lose a piece of that happiness and a piece of yourself. When things are falling apart it is okay to need other people, but you have to be able to eventually pick up the pieces on your own. Stop depending on your parents to tell you they're proud and be proud of yourself for once. Stop feeling like you need that guy to tell you that you're beautiful, believe it yourself. Stop needing approval from your best friends, get approval from you. When you stop letting other people control your thoughts and your actions, things get a little easier.

I can dish out this advice all day, but the truth is I just learned this for myself. I'm still learning about it and failing at it everyday. It isn't easy to rely on yourself more than others, because sometimes YOU disappoint YOU. We have to start learning from the disappointment we give ourselves, and stop letting others have so much control over the disappointment they bring.

You have to be enough for you, because no one can do it for you.