Everyone loves to laugh. Laughing is one of the most organic reactions that humans have. It's hard to convince a fake laugh and if you're anything like me everyone even remotely in earshot hears when you find something truly hilarious. They say laughter is the best medicine, and not only am I inclined to agree but I would happily be a paid shill for the Laughter-as-Medicine lobby if there were one. Maybe there is. I should do some Google searching.

You see, truth be told I am not a very happy person. I don't easily derive pleasure from my achievements and I tend to cast self-doubt on a lot of aspects in my life. It's rough when you expect and then set yourself up for failure when you were otherwise on a near-clear path for success. I don't easily forgive myself for my past mistakes. Overall, I just don't find comfort in many things. Sure, I have appreciation for them, but that stops at appreciation. Furthermore, I can't stand routine when it is regimented and static. A routine that in essence is fluid and evolving is great, it keeps me on my toes and doesn't bore me. When I know exactly what I'll be doing every hour for the next week for the next month I can feel my entire being go into a slowdown, like my psyche was freezing over. Not fun. Whether or not this is a typical bout of ennui for a typical twenty-something is not for me to decide, but this is where I am currently in life.

There is one thing, however, that I enjoy most notably than anything else I can think of, and that is comedy. I FREAKING LOVE comedy. It's the only thing I am wholeheartedly passionate about. I love everything about it: the storytelling, the set-ups, the punchlines, the absolute spirit of it. I love the craftsmanship of stand up and sketch comedy, how every bit of it is constructed and timed so intentionally as to maximize the humor of it. I love the spontaneity and free-form nature of improv, how some of the funniest scenes can grow naturally during the course of two or three minutes and then POOF, gone forever. This love is more than fandom for me. For me, comedy is medicine.

Watching comedy unfold, no matter sketch, stand up, or improv, allows me to escape the weight of my own, inward-pointed negativity and forget about my self-doubt and worry. I absolutely adore getting inside the creative mind of a fellow comedian to see what they believe is funny and how they decided to best send it into the aether. It's the one thing I know I can do when i'm in a severe funk that 99.99 percent of the time will center me, maybe not completely cheer me up but get myself out of my own way and return focus to important matters that need addressing.

Creating comedy, on the other hand, is my ideal form of self-expression. it is my go-to creative outlet; I may not be a great painter nor play an instrument beyond some half-legible ruckus but by Jove won't I try to make 'em laugh. It provides a tangible relief for the maelstrom of funny thoughts and ideas and situations that strike my mind at nearly all times. For real, catch me anywhere and I will probably be giggling to myself or at least have a dumb smirk on my face. I promise you it's because I just thought of something really funny that either happened in the past or something I know will never happen unless I make it happen. My inspiration can come from anywhere at all. For instance, I wrote and directed a sketch based on some tweets a friend made that I found hilarious. This:

basically, in my perfect world you would see old man me on tv w/ other prominent techdudes & he's the only one saying "technology is awful"

— morty jebsen (@gonzorobotics) August">https://twitter.com/gonzorobotics/status/628714708... 4, 2015

"look at this robot i built. it's terrible. this is all terrible. everyone you interviewed is terrible."

— morty jebsen (@gonzorobotics) August">https://twitter.com/gonzorobotics/status/628714826... 4, 2015

Became this:

Making sketches and performing stand up and improv are what drive me to keep pushing forward in all other aspects in my life. I strive to make hilarious content because, quite honestly, I feed off of that enjoyment. Knowing that others find my craft as funny as I do gives me both a confidence and an ego boost. While that may come off as conceited, given my otherwise state of mind as shambling trash-pile of sadness I can use all of the confidence and ego that I can get. My goal in life is to make comedy professionally so I can entertain as many people as those who entertain me do, and if my comedy reaches someone else who has the same mental and emotional connection to comedy as I do, then I know I will have been truly successful.