I'll just keep it simple and tell you that this is what happened to me Thursday night as I was walking home from work. No embellishments, no exaggerations. This is what I heard, and now you're hearing it too.

I clocked out of work around 9:30 pm. It was already dark out. I had on ratty sneakers, black leggings, a green t-shirt, my Dollar Tree apron, and my Supernatural backpack. A little ways into my 45 min/1 hour walk home, I knew that somebody was behind me. I didn't look to see who it was, I just kept heading the direction I was going. I quickly realized that it was not 1 somebody, but 3 somebodies. And they were drunk. I could tell because they started talking.

Guy 1 "Hey, you. Hey miss. Let me get your number."

Guy 2 "You there. With the backpack. Give us your number."

Guy 3 "Hey! Backpack! Turn around sweet cheeks!"

This kind of drunken catcalling went on for a while, and I wasn't too worried. They were a bit behind me, I'm a big girl, and I had been cat called before. But then it took a turn, and I started to get nervous.

Guy 1 "Hey backpack. You better turn around before I make you."

Guy 2 "Yo, backpack, you want to turn around and suck me off?"

Guy 1 "You want to turn around and suck ME off?"

Guy 3 "Or she could suck all of us off together."

Guy 2 "Dude, that's totally gay."

Drunken laughter ensues. I adjust my backpack, like I always do, completely not even realizing.

Guy 2 "WOO! Do that again backpack!"

Guy 1 "Yeah! Let's get a look at that ass!"

Guy 2 "Hey! Can you fuck? I hear fat bitches like you are freaks in bed."

Guy 3 "Hey backpack, are you tight?"

Guy 1 "What are you talking about? Fat bitches are always tight. They're always virgins."

Guy 3 "You a tight little virgin backpack?"

Guy 2 "You better turn around and show us how tight you are before I see what that long ass ponytail feels like wrapped around my fist."

Guy 1 "Turn the fuck around bitch."

Guy 3 "I'll rip that apron right off you."

Guy 2 "We'll fuck you right here, right now. Ponytails are great for holding on to."

At this point, I was almost sprinting to get away from them. They either lost interest, turned a corner, or one of them tripped over themselves because I was sure I had lost them. Not shortly after, I noticed two of my friends, Josh and Jacky on the other side of the street. I jogged over to them, 5% to say hi, 95% to make sure I still wasn't being followed by those creeps. I explained, in short, the situation, and Josh offered me a ride home because his house was right up the street. I was honestly so thankful because I still would have been walking for another half hour or so.

Moral of the story? There isn't one. I don't know what would have happened if I had stopped, or said something to them, or even turned around. Just be safe out there ladies.