"Admire someone else's beauty without questioning your own."
Let's be real for a second, ladies. We have all been there. We're having a rough day, overslept our alarm clock, stressed out about the impending doom of our term papers, or any of the million other things that are so easy to stress about in life. You see a young woman around your age walking across the room with her head held high, carrying herself with poise and confidence. All of us, myself included, have had those moments where we don't necessarily know why, but we have been filled with instant anger and resentment toward her. How dare she carry herself with confidence. How dare she being so content with herself.
Throughout college, I remember vividly so many of my close friends indulged in what seemed to be a weekly ritual to scroll through Facebook, Instagram, etc., and shred each and every photo that may arise from their timeline. She looks so fake. Do you see those lashes? Obviously fake. Yikes, she has definitely put on a few pounds.
It's always puzzled me how we are so quick to belittle each other, yet we plaster on every social media site that we possibly can with these uplifting quotes encouraging us to continue to empower each other, to strive for confidence, and to always practice self love. Things like: "I am obsessed with with becoming a woman comfortable in her own skin" or "Darling, don't forget to fall in love with yourself first."
Yet, here we are, rolling in our hypocrisy, continuously perpetuating this toxic environment for us women to grow and thrive together.
My biggest question is: Why are people so resentful towards women who are okay with themselves?
Do you know how many problematic things that they had to unlearn?
Do you know how many self destructive behaviors they had to erase from their memories?
Growing up, I really struggled with self confidence. It took well over 13 years for me to be able to look in the mirror to tolerate what was looking back at me. From yearning to fit into society's unrealistic mold of beauty, to going through puberty, and quite frankly even college, it was extremely rough.
By the media, by your peers, by society in general you are constantly reminded that you are not pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, perfect enough.
We have all heard of this, so why am I still here sounding like a broken record trying to understand why we are stuck in this toxic place. Answer me this: why do women still think it is acceptable to tear each other down? Will somehow magically boost our self esteem?
A pillar that I think we need to use to guide us in our future interactions with each other as women is that we are in no place to patronize, belittle, or erase another women's feelings for feeling confident and at peace with herself. You have no idea, and you will probably never have any idea, what it took to be able to build up her self esteem, and to be able to walk with her head held high.
We are better than succumbing to the toxic behaviors that society has ingrained into our minds. I, just like any other woman, have earned every single piece of my confidence, and I will be damned if anyone thinks for a second that they can take that away from me.
Without deviation from the norm, we cannot find progress in our relationship with ourselves and each other as women. Let's find the power within ourselves to build each other up, and appreciate the mosaic of our broken pieces that make us absolutely beautiful and whole.
