Let’s start simple. Being single is ok. I know it’s hard when you walk to class and you catch sight of an adorable couple holding hands, laughing and kissing, projecting that envious image of couple happiness that us single ladies can only but admire and weave into our dreams, but it is an unavoidable sight, whether your irritated to see it or not. Yet I believe college romance is an asset every girl wants. Being able to share your struggles, disappointments, but also laughter and love with some great guy is always on our dream list! But the thing about college, and I have recently just realized this, it’s a world, centered in the real world, where you give still hormonally unstable girls and men with off the chart levels of testosterone “jobs” and “duties”, in preparation for the real world. It’s like were practicing living life before breaking out into the “grown up” world where we find spouses, get jobs, and pave our path to success. College is like an experiment. It shows our teachers, friends, and family what we are made of and how we might end up in the real world. So, interwoven in all of this chaos of studying, partying, socializing, working, cleaning, and just having a great time in college is the need and the want of being cared and loved for. Of course the love your friends have for you is highly needed and important, but there is just something so special about having a guy, that you respect, love and care for you.

I think girls get to a point in their desperation for love, when the first guy the see, or have a nice conversation face to face with, will indefinitely become their boyfriend, but is it really something you need to rush into? It’s not. Love will find you. It’s not something you need to chase, which I have to admit I have done many times before. Instead it’s this sacred thing that you want to share with your special someone. Whether he is a boyfriend or a husband, you don’t want to guide yourself with the quest “I need to find myself someone this year”. This is not the type of goal you want to have for yourself, because it will only lead you down a dark and convoluting road. Finding someone will happen when you least expect it. This statement, which has been spoken from the mouths of many of my close friends, has been a struggling thought of mine for about the past two years. But after a while you realize that it has some truth to it. Don’t throw yourself at the first guy you see, because it is highly accurate that they won’t respect and treat you the way you want to be treated. Don’t leave yourself in that situation. You always deserve better.

So what do you do then? Wait for your man to come knocking at your door? Journal consistently? Daydream? Being a hopeless romantic, I can say I daydream all the time, and I always get frustrated when I read quotes on Instagram or Pinterest saying, “stop dreaming and start doing”. It’s hard to go out and do something when your imprisoned in the library, dragging yourself to finish your calculus review, when dreaming of running around Paris during Fashion week, with a coral pink Prada bag draped over your lacey blouse, with high knee black boots gliding you across the lamp lit streets of the city of lights. I don’t want people to always feel discouraged when they can’t go out that moment and live their dream. The same goes for dreaming about your future man.I am most definitely overthinking the meaning of this quote, but at its essence what I am trying to say is that, it is perfectly perfect to dream. I mean you don’t want to over dream to the extent you lay in bed all day and never leave your room. To dream is the starting of a beautiful painting; the serendipitous colors of your daydreams are brushed over the empty whiteness of the canvas! One of my favorite quotes from Abdul Kalam is “You have to dream before your dreams can come true,”. This pertains well to dreaming about your future, and in particular who you will meet in your future. Daydreaming about your future love will only make it more joyful when the moment happens, whether that is in college or not.

In the meantime, I have a solution for us single ladies: it is to walk into the world of Jane Austen, an 18^th century English novelist. I was lucky to visit her home Chatsworth in Derbyshire, England this summer, and fall even deeper in love with her novels. Her most popular book, Pride and Prejudice, has been my crunch ever since I began to feel the least bit sad without a boyfriend. Because, whether you read the book or watch the movie, by the end you tell yourself “I want a Mr. Darcy”. Fitzwilliam Darcy is the surprise lover of the protagonist of the book, Elizabeth Bennet. If you put yourself in the shoes of Lizzy (that’s her nickname), you begin to see a wild comparison of the 18^th century life to modern college life. If you sum it down, there’s a girl, whose sister (or in this modern sense your sorority sister or friend) is falling in love with a dashing young man. You are there to giggle along with her and encourage her to continue the flirtation. But there is this man, a friend of your friend’s lover, that you find to be very handsome and dashing. But whether he is an athlete, a frat boy, or simply an outgoing philosophical person, who feel skeptical to like him because you don’t know the true him. This is what happens in Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth is prejudice of Mr. Darcy and his exuberant wealth and arrogance, and he has pride in her, over his high ranked self. But the true power of love is unveiled in the book, and the result is what love will compel men to do for the one he most heartedly loves, thus showcasing his true self. At the end you find Mr. Darcy to be a man that would do anything, and I mean anything in the world for Elizabeth. This is the type of man we all deserve and need.

So don’t judge people by their cover, but don’t be too quick to act. Let it slowly happen to you, so you can enjoy every moment of it. Don’t stand for anything less. Wait it out, because the man of your dreams will be coming for you. Stop crying tears of jealousy over Instagram posts of cute couples. Dream your own unique future, and as long as you truly believe, it will come true, because you will have that determined mindset. And trust me when I’m saying this, there is a Mr. Darcy out there waiting for you.

XOXO

Rach