There are a few pieces of life advice I wish I'd discovered and accepted earlier in order to be the best version of myself. Everyone wants to live their best life, but in order to do so, you must first value yourself. Learn to know your worth because you are worth the world and you deserve the very best, BUT you’re not entitled to anything. Learn to know your worth and go after it—go get what you deserve whether it be a job, a relationship, or anything else you can imagine.
Never forget to hold yourself accountable because you are responsible for your actions and decisions just as much as everyone else is. It’s okay to give people chances, it’s okay to want to help, it’s even okay to wish and hope things will be different the next time, but learn to recognize when enough is enough. At the end of the day, people make choices and if they continuously make a decision that hurts you, chances are it won’t change with that next chance.
If your relationship is harmful in any way to your mental or physical health, academics, self-care, or other relationships then trust me it’s worth it to walk away.
Once you do, you’ll feel much better, as if you’re on top of the world.
Recently I left a relationship that wasn’t always healthy - it wasn’t always bad but it certainly wasn’t always what I imagined a relationship would be like. It took a long time for me to finally stand up for myself, to stop overlooking all the red flags and problems that I knew were there. It took me time to accept the truth that I already knew. It took me time to value myself enough to walk away and once I did, I was unstoppable.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s easy to do, but sometimes the hardest things to do are the most important things you can do for yourself. It took me countless times of being hurt and lied to in order to finally leave, but the important thing is that I left.
I’m not telling you that you’ll immediately feel better, but you’ll know you did what you needed to do.
The closure you will gain by standing up for yourself will offer the peace you need to finally walk away and move on. Things take time, and it’s okay not to be okay because it’s difficult to adjust into a new routine, to stop seeing someone even if they’ve hurt you, but you will adapt and you will be stronger.
It’s painful to lose two people all in one, to not only lose a boyfriend or girlfriend, but also a best friend.
So my advice to you is to go do something for yourself and heal your soul, remember the little things you loved before him or before her.
Be spontaneous.
Rediscover your passions, and find new ones.
Chase the sunsets, beautiful dreamer.
Dance in the rain.
Smile just because.
Wake up early and watch the sunrise.
Go to a quaint little coffee shop.
Do some retail therapy.
Pet a dog.
Go get ice cream.
Do whatever you can to feed your soul, to help leave that negativity behind. Find yourself again, remember that you are okay being alone, give yourself time to heal and once you heal, don’t stop doing those things, continue to thrive.
Finally, I recommend that everyone read Gavin Debecker's "The Gift of Fear" and let his words resonate with you. Your instincts are usually right - your gut feeling is there for a reason. Don’t stay with him or her because you don’t know how to leave or because you’re afraid of being alone.
You are worth so much more - go after what you deserve passionately and fearlessly. You will be loved and cherished by someone who values you and prioritizes you as a both woman and a human being. You are beautiful and every fire you walk through will only make you stronger.
