Umbrella: (n) a protective device usually used to mildly shield from excessive rain or sometimes sun. (Webster)

Umbrella: (n) a shady boy that you know doesn't treat you right but falsely shields you from loneliness and getting hurt. (Sarah's dictionary)

I know... It's a weird metaphor, but hear me out.

Umbrellas keep you dry when it rains, right? I bet you know a guy like that, too. He keeps you around and you let him because you think you’re protecting your feelings by being indifferent. But you’re not. Sure, umbrellas shield you from rain but they also block the sun… the same way that you may think that that boy will prevent a colossal heartbreak, but he will actually prevent something that might be really good. Umbrellas aren’t even that protective… they’re flimsy, small, and they get in the way of your field of view most of the time. In the same way, this boy isn’t trustworthy, and worst of all, he gets in the way of seeing your true value, but I'll explain that later.

I know you know what kind of boy I mean… The kind that hits you up at 1 AM and you go over because, yeah, maybe you’re feelin’ some type of way, but you also want to feel wanted. He’s the kind that texts you when he knows you’ve stopped thinking about him. He's also the kind that texts you and 5 other girls the same message. He’s even the kind that makes sure that you’ll always be around at his disposal. I know a guy like that.

I always thought that I was okay with being treated negligibly; I felt like I was strong enough and self-confident enough to handle a boy that frankly didn’t care about me. If we were just having fun and playing it cool without any feelings, then I was totally capable, and even worse, satisfied with being regarded with that indifference. I knew it wasn’t a serious connection, but there wasn’t much better coming along… So why not? It’s perfect, I thought, I wouldn’t have to care. But it never works that way. And it’s not like in Friends with Benefits where Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis fall hopelessly in love… There was absolutely no love in this equation; I definitely didn’t feel any love for him, but then I realized, I didn’t really even feel any love for myself anymore…

So there it was: I didn’t want to be alone so I was regularly allowing myself to be treated with little value… so naturally, I started believing that I wasn’t worth much at all.

You cannot pretend that being treated like sh** doesn’t make you feel like exactly that. It’s not a complex thought, people. You are not sh** so do not let someone treat you that way simply because you are lonely. I understand it might seem easier and safer, but it isn't. When you use an umbrella, you still get wet... it's just more gradual and inconspicuous. The same goes for this boy; he hurts you even though you don't realize it.

He lets you think that it's okay to be treated this way. And you say that you don't care. My friend once told me that the most ridiculous concept of our generation is that people go through life acting like they don’t feel anything. What is the point of living if you don’t want to feel? You get excited and you are happy and then you get hurt and you are sad etcetera. That is life... that is literally the purest function of living. She said, “Why wouldn’t you want to show that off?” What is the point of being apathetic towards everything? And even worse, what is the point of accepting being treated with that apathy? It’s not just an adolescent stage; it’s not a social experiment; it’s not even a funny game… You are how you are treated and being treated badly is something you permit. So if you only get one life, why would you spend it emotionlessly accepting that kind of disrespect? Don’t let your umbrella fool you into thinking that that is good enough for you. You are valuable and you deserve someone who not only recognizes that, but actively, customarily, and unapologetically treats you that way.

So can we please stop giving the umbrellas so much power? They will never protect you adequately, so maybe you can learn to protect yourself from the rain, learn to embrace the rain, or hey, learn to be psychic like Karen Smith and predict the rain with your boobs, I don't care. Just learn to cope with the rain by yourself and for yourself. You are a lot to lose, so please try and treat yourself the way you would want to be treated.

And I know it's hard to love yourself every day... sometimes the Napoleonic War is occurring inside your uterus and you just wake up and think "hell no." Sometimes you have a couple gargantuan, life-sucking zits that can easily be mapped out as NASA's next constellation investigation. And sometimes, you watch 4 hours of 30-second cooking videos on Facebook while shoveling sour cream into your mouth with a spoon. I feel you girl, but try to remember that your value is not subjective; it is a fixed figure determined exclusively by you. It does not change depending on your state of mind, your calorie count, or the amount of times that umbrella texted you today. So please realize what you are worth and do not ever compromise or question it for the meager attention of an apathetic boy that does not deserve you. Love yourself so shamelessly that you won't need an umbrella to protect you... You'll have so much internal light, self-respect, and a tenacious love for who you are that your glow will just naturally block the rain, and who needs an umbrella after that?