I am a second semester junior in college with less than three weeks to go. That means that in just three weeks, I will be a senior in college. Lately, I find myself thinking “WTF? How did all of this happen? What am I doing with my life? Am I a failure because my five-year plan is ridiculously unclear?” I have woken up from nightmares on multiple occasions recently because I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
For a few months this bothered me. I would cry to my mom about how I had no idea what I was doing with my future or what exactly the next chapter of my life would bring. The thought of graduate school was making me feel sick and I was constantly being dragged into the depths of uncertainty about my future.
After weeks of wallowing I realized something that changed my life: it doesn’t matter. What i’m doing in the next five years does not matter right now. What matters is me taking good care of my body and mind and doing all that I can so that my options are open for me when I get out of school.
When we are 17 years old, we are told that we need to decide what we want to do with our future, or at least what we want to major in. Then, we are expected to dive into a major and if we change our minds, we are set back for graduation. These are life decisions that are being made before we’re even old enough to legally consume alcohol. How am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life if I am still being indecisive on my fashion choices?
Three years of college has taught me quite a lot of things, and the most important thing that I have learned is that no one has any idea what they want to be when they grow up. Even grown-ups don’t know what they want to be when they grow up, and that’s okay!
Worry about today and worry about now. Don’t worry about where you’re going to be living in two years or what law school you want to go to until you absolutely have to. Focus on really paying attention to your major and learning all that you can while you’re in school. Learn about yourself and take time to really consider the things you like and the things that you don’t. Eventually, you are going to have to decide what you want to be when you grow up, but you do not have to be that thing forever. Try new things and allow yourself to learn and grow.
We need to stop thinking so far into the future and start worrying about the present. There are ways to develop as a person without constantly living in fear that your future is not going to be what you wanted it to be. None of us know what we’re doing and that’s okay.
