Life is all about different relationships. Relationships with friends, coworkers, family members, significant others, and everyone else you encounter on a daily basis. Some of these relationships are vital to our lives, while others are more so put upon us. Either way, we will spend a lot of our life in communication with these people, and sometimes knowing when it is appropriate to address a particular thing is very important.

The first thing I have noticed to be true is to never have an important conversation in the heat of the moment. Sometimes when we are in an argument, we might feel the urge to talk about it all then, but this is a big mistake. If we continue to push a subject after it has already gotten heated, things can be said that we don’t really mean and even if we are hoping to resolve the issue quickly, we must remember that almost always nothing is resolved during a fight. When we are angry, we are more likely to bring up other things unrelated to the current fight, and we might also exaggerate how we really feel. It is better to wait until you have calmed down for quite some time before readdressing the situation.

Another thing I have found to be true is to not have an important conversation either when you are sick or even tired. This may sound kind of silly but you’d be surprised how much I regret saying something when I’m just not physically feeling well, versus if I wait until I feel better and am rested. When we are tired or sick, we are easily irritable and more sensitive than we usually would be. This is why it is better to wait until you feel better because if you are irritable you could also say things you might regret and are not true or accurate to how you really feel. Feeling exhausted physically can cause us to feel exhausted mentally, which means we don’t have the energy to have an in-depth conversation, let alone think clearly. So wait until you feel more yourself, even if it takes a day or two.

The last thing I have found to be true is to not have important conversations while under any sort of influence, even if the influence seems minimal. An example of this could be alcohol, drugs, cold/flu medicine, or even too much coffee. These particular things can alter how we feel and even how we think, which can be detrimental to solving something or talking and speaking honestly. This can be hard not to do because sometimes we can get anxious due to being under the influence, so things that might normally seem fine can seem uncomfortable or worrisome. So wait until you are sober or feel back to your normal self before addressing something.

I hope this was helpful in knowing when to have important conversations because as we all know, conversations will arise and there is no way of avoiding them. So make sure you feel balanced and in the right frame of mind next time you need to talk to someone. Sometimes it is even helpful to write out what you want to say, wait 24 hours, and then reread it to make sure it is exactly what you mean rather than an emotional or less intelligent response.