We have all been there before.
Whether you’ve experienced it first hand or witnessed a close friend go through it, toxic relationships are everywhere, especially today with our millennial ideas of what “dating” should be like. When it’s your best friend, you just want to shake her and scream “WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH THIS. PLEASE STOP CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S NOT WORTH IT." But when we are going through it ourselves, we like to justify it with excuses like “He will change” and “He’s not always like this. The good outweighs the bad,” but does it? How do we know when that is no longer true anymore? How do we know when enough is enough and it’s time to end it even if the thought of being without him makes you sick to your stomach?
There is no easy answer to this question.
Now, I may be biased considering I have had my fair share of experiences with boys who are not so nice. However, let me clear something up right away, it’s not just boys who make relationships toxic. Girls can be just as bad, if not worse, many times. Yeah, we are crazy. At least we own it. But for the sake of this article, I am targeting my energy towards boys for the moment.
One of the hardest things we have to do as humans is learn to let go. Even when we don’t want to. It takes a strong person to stand back and look at themselves and say “This needs to stop. This is not bettering me as a person and I need to stand up for myself." It may be hard and it may hurt like no other, but it has to be done. You may not see it now but in the long term, it is for the best.
You do not need someone who makes you feel anything less than whole. You do not need someone who does not make you feel wanted or valued. You do not need someone who does not put you first. In fact, you really don’t need anyone at all, and I think that’s what we are most afraid of. We are so afraid of being alone that we would rather stick with what we know and what is comfortable even if it is not what is best for us anymore.
You can put your all into a relationship with someone and it can still just not be enough for them. And THAT IS OK. Not everyone you meet is going to feel the same way about you as you feel about them. The connection you feel might not always be returned.
Instead of trying to force it, learn when to walk away. Learn that unrequited feelings are not healthy on either end. Learn that even though it might feel like the end of the world, letting go is the only thing that is going to make you stronger and make you better.
Realize that one day you will find someone who does make you feel special and makes you feel important. You will find someone who will feel just as strongly as you do and if not stronger. You will find someone again that makes you feel so happy that you have to sit back and think "I don't think it could get any better than this" and then, get this, they will actually stay with you. They will be committed to you and they will make you forget about all those sad nights and dumb fights. They will make you wonder why you ever wasted your time worrying about someone who made you feel anything less than whole.
