Listen, ladies! Enough is enough! I am tired of making excuses to put up with a no good guy. I am tired of placing my own feelings second. And I am tired of seeing other women suffer through the same thing! I am not sure why we try so hard to keep these guys around. Do we enjoy the emotional pain they put us through? Are we some kind of weird kink that gets a joy out of mental torture? Well I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m sure the majority would say NO! So why do we stay? Is it love? Couldn’t be. I’m not sure if I ever been in real love. But from the outside looking in, I know love isn’t supposed to hurt. I’m not saying there will not be tough times or a few bumps in the road. What I am saying is that love should not cause more pain than pleasure.

If you are in a relationship and you know it is not healthy for you, then you need to walk away! There is not enough love in the world that you could feel that will justify a guy not treating you like the queen you are. Well actually, if you allow him to continuously hurt you, you are not much of a queen at all. Queens are supposed to be strong, brave, and true to themselves. Remaining in an unhealthy relationship does not exemplify these traits. This also applies to those women who do not have the title of being a girlfriend but are doing all of the girlfriend duties. Do not expect him to make it official with you if you are already doing everything you would do in a relationship. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Ladies, it doesn’t matter if you are officially with him or not. If he is not treating you right, you need to get out now!

Now you may have to ask yourself, “Is my man good to me?” In most cases, if you have to question it, he isn’t. But for those who are having a little trouble, I will help you identify what my friends and I have labeled as the “F*** Boy”. If your man does even one of these things, you have yourself a F*** Boy. And if he does all of these then he is definitely f***ing you over.

1. Disregards your feelings. Do you tell him you don’t like something or something makes you feel bad and he blatantly ignores you and does it anyways?

2. Acts single/available. Does he continuously talk to other girls? (phone, text, snapchat, DM, GroupMe, Subtweet, comments) And I don’t mean talk to as in simple conversation. I am referring to blunt flirting and subliminal messages.

3. Gossips too much. Have you ever noticed that he tells your business? Has he exposed some personal information/pictures? Does everyone knows about your sex life or knows when you two are fighting? Does he run to social media to express his anger?

4. Only after one thing. Anytime you hang out, does he expect to have sex? After having sex, does he suddenly have something to do or somewhere to go?

5. Constantly lies. Do you catch him in lies on a regular bases? Maybe he tells you he’s at home but then you spot his car at the mall? If he will lie about something little, he has no problem lying about something big.

6. Doesn’t have a plan. Does he live in the moment and doesn’t plan for the future? Ask him where he sees his self in five years. If he simply replies “I don’t know” without even including a “Maybe in/at----“then he doesn’t have a plan.

7. Expects more from you. Does he require things of you that does not apply to him? For instance, does he go through your phone but won’t let you touch his? Or maybe he requires you to keep your male friends at minimum to none when he has many female friends.

8. Doesn’t respond. Do you find yourself having to call/text him first all the time? Or do you notice that you have to call/text more than twice to get a response?

9. Never offers to pay. Do you find yourself paying all the time? Who pays the pizza guy? Who buys the movie tickets? Who picks up the bill at the restaurant? Who bought the shoes he’s wearing right now? Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to treat your guy and to cater to him. But it should be a two way street. Maybe you buy the tickets and he buys the popcorn. Or even you pay every other time.

10. Keeps you a secret. Have you ever been out in public? Does he demand you keep him off social media? Did he tell you not to tell your best friend about him? It’s one thing to keep your personal business between the two of you. But that does not mean your entire relationship has to be a secret. Take Beyoncé and Jay Z for example. Everyone knows they are together, but no one knows anything personal about their relationship. If a celebrity couple can be public and keep their business to themselves, do not let him convince you that you have to be a secret for it to work.

I understand that there may be some exceptions to the criteria of a F*** boy. For instance, if he doesn’t respond because he is busy at work or in class, you cannot be upset. In fact you should just wait and see if he will call/text you back when he isn’t busy. So make sure you carefully evaluate your personal situations.

Now it’s time to ask yourself, “Am I dealing with a F*** boy?” If the answer is yes, Honey you need to step away. You may also ask yourself “Why do I love him even though he is a F*** boy?” and that’s a good question. I think all women have been in an unhealthy relationship at some point in time and continued to pursue it because of love. Love is blind. It apparently doesn’t see the hurt these painful relationships cause. It is up to us to make sure our mind is just as strong, if not stronger. That way we know when it is time to walk away. It is better to deal with the temporary hurt associated cutting a person out of our lives than to cling to the hurt a person intentionally causes.

My mom has been telling me that I am precious cargo since as long as I can remember. As a child I didn’t really understand what she meant. Now that I’m older, I’m starting to get it. I want to tell you that’s reading this, you are precious cargo. Don’t let anyone damage you. Don’t be so in love with the thought of love that you lose yourself. Let the F*** boy that can't love you go and make room for the right guy.