“Guess what?”
It’s been a question I’ve been asked almost every single day of my life. It can be answered in many ways, by many people. This question, however, usually comes from my father. The answer, when asked by him, is normally the same every time. "You love me."
It started when I was very young. The first couple times my father would ask: “Guess what?” and I would respond “What?” and his answer would be “I love you.” This was something my brother and sister and me caught onto and now answer "you love me" in automatic response.
I’ve realized how important this is and how fortunate I am to have a father who lets me know how much he loves me all of the time. This isn’t a question most children are asked and some children haven't received love from their fathers like I have. My father, in complete honesty, is the one who has fully taught me how I should be treated by a man who loves me. It has been extremely important to me that I was raised by a man who taught me how females should be treated by males.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Men should be treated well by women and everyone should treat others well and with respect. I’m a bit biased with this article, however, as I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend of a year. This has made me realize the way my father has subconsciously taught me how my boyfriend should be treating me. (Side note: he treats me very well.)
The way I was loved and raised by my father and raised and loved by other men in my family, such as my grandfather or brother, have given me the opportunity to realize what I deserve and what every woman should deserve while in a relationship with a boyfriend.
However, many women are in relationships that make them question love or their worth. In a relationship, a man should never make you feel like you have to question his love for you. Your father should teach you that you are beautiful no matter what you’re wearing, what makeup you have on your face, or how your body looks. A father should teach you that a real man doesn’t need a woman with a perfect body, or a woman who goes by the stereotypes of what ‘women should do’. A father should teach you that you don’t even need a man to make you happy.
A father should also teach you not to be afraid to walk away if you even think you’re being mistreated. If you are with a man who does not know your worth, who does not treat you as an equal or let you know how much you are loved by them, walk away! Just like you should tell him how much you love him, he should do the same for you.
To the women who had no father figure in their life or had one who did not treat them in love and respect; you are not any less just because someone hasn’t told you they love you and respect you. To the women who had no positive father figure: find a man who treats you with respect so that you may someday have a son who knows how to treat women or a daughter who knows how they should be treated by a man.
Do not let yourself go unloved. Do not let your children someday not feel respect from their father or not know how to treat females that they are supposed to love.
As I continue my relationship with my boyfriend, I will always remember the love I received from my father while I was growing up. I will not forget how much love and respect I was given so that I do not waste it on someone who doesn’t love me. I notice this love in my boyfriend now: how he looks at me and what he says to me that mirrors the love I got from my father. It’s not just about my boyfriend making my father like him and make my father proud of him for loving me correctly. It’s about me being proud of myself for knowing what I deserve and sticking with it.
It is important to know your worth and talk to a significant other if you aren’t both being feeling loved and respected by each other. It should be an equal amount of love on each side.
Women: Say ‘I love you’ as much as you can and mean it. There is no shame in leaving someone because you feel like they don’t love you how you know you deserve to be loved. each your daughters and the women in your life how a man should treat them and lead a positive example for them throughout your life.
To the men: Do not take your significant other for granted. Leave if you don’t feel respected or loved. Say ‘I love you’ as much as you can and mean it. Teach your daughters how they deserve to be treated; with respect and loads of love. Teach your sons how to love women, not just as a prize or a toy, but as an equal human being. Practice and display these examples in your every day life through loving your wife. Know your worth, too.
Know your worth and get what you deserve. Life is too short to be treated poorly.
