The sense of belonging is a strange phenomenon. It’s impossible to ever know where we really belong unless we visit literally everywhere. But what is it that makes us feel as though we are in a place that we belong? Happiness? Comfortability? The people around us? Yes. But, what if only one these makes you feel like you belong? Is it worth being miserable and uncomfortable for the sake of having really good friends? Probably not. You’re not sure how to handle this, but you know you don’t belong here.
They probably don’t understand why you’re so miserable, how could they? This is a whole new world to them, but it’s the same thing you’ve seen your entire life. You try to explain why you hate it here, but they discredit it because they just don't understand. You grew up here. Your dad works here. Your high school is five minutes away, your house is 15. You resent your decision to even apply here, let alone come here. You know you don’t belong here.
You’ve always been a fairly positive, happy person, but that has faded. You were never a serial skipper in high school, now you barely have the will to go to your 11 am class. Or your 2:30. Or your 5:00. “You need to go to class,” they say. They don’t understand that some days you physically feel like attending class will kill you. You don’t hate your classes and you don’t hate going to them, but you never want to attend. You have lost all motivation to basically do anything; you know you don’t belong here.
You are in the middle of a vicious cycle that seems to have no escape. Because you have lost all motivation, your grades have started slipping. You only take 12 credits, so you can’t drop the worst class because at that point you might as well drop out. Of those 12 credits, only 6 are going to transfer. You need 30 to get out of here. You can’t take more than 21 credits in a semester. You are stuck, trapped, cornered by the world you’ve known your entire life.You’re small world has someone gotten even smaller. Inside you lives the burning desire to get out and see the world and you are confined to a campus the size of a city block. You know you don’t belong here.
I advise everyone go beyond what you are used to. I advise everyone to leave your hometowns, as far as you can and as far as you want. Go as many places as you can.The main building on campus features the quote, “Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live”. So, go somewhere you love. Do something you love. Be something you love. You know you don’t love it here, and you know you don’t belong here.
