Being separated from your best friend in college is one of the most challenging things to go through. Knowing that they are no longer just down the street or that they don't have many free nights to facetime is frustrating, especially when you need them. Which is why I think its important for those in college or those who are just far away from their best friend to do everything they can in order to maintain that strong friendship.
1. Reach out to them!
Yes I know that step is a given, but I feel as though it is so much easier said than done. Your best friend wants to see that you are making an effort, therefore taking the time out of your day to shoot a 10 second text message or make a 10 minute phone call can really help your relationship. Also, going out of your way by doing and doing the extra-ordinary can also benefit the friendship! For example, right before my best friends finals week I was at the bookstore and saw this Harry Potter coloring book. My best friend is a huggee Harry Potter fan, so I bought the book, mailed it to her, and do decompress she was able to take a break during her studying and color! And reaching out to them is something so simple that anyone can do it- email, facebook, text, you name it! Even sending them a funny meme that reminds you of them can help not only brighten up their day, but let them know that youre still there.
Although its great to text your best friend in your highschool prom groupchat, you've got to put in a little bit more effort! Reaching out to them and going outside your dorm room to have those one-on-one no distraction conversations are key to knowing exactly what's happening in their lives and if they're okay. Now this does not have to happen every day or every month, but from time to time depending on how you communicate, facetiming every so often can help. But if y'all don't do facetime or skype, then do whatever you think will work best. Maybe even calling them while your in line at Starbucks or as your waiting for the bus can be the perfect opportunity to catch up with your best friend.
3. Make sure to talk about feelings
Now depending on your relationship with your best friend you may like/dislike talking about feelings. I know the only way I can find out how my best friend is by asking about how shes feeling. Its important for you to be straight up and let them know that you are truly there for them. Having a long distance friendship may make it difficult for them to express their feelings all the time. They might think you're too busy or that you no longer care about their boy problems, but outwardly getting deep with them can help them regain courage to talk about those kinds of things. Also, talking about feelings is not something that everyone feels doing at any time of the day. Therefore planning a time to talk about what exactly is going on will make them feel more comfortable talking about their feelings regarding the situation.
4. Motivate them!
I looveee when my best friends take the time out of their day to say something nice and boost my confidence up, whether it be about an exam or just to put me in a better mood. Being without your best friend is difficult for many reasons, one of them being that they aren't there when you are at your worst. Getting that one motivational text on a really sucky day can help completely boost your mood and remind you of who you still have in your life! It'll also make them that much more appreciative of you and all that you are to them. A best friend has the job to continue being there for you, therefore a quick motivational text in the morning or a good luck on an exam can both bring your best friend that confidence she needs.
5. Respect each others time
You and your best friend are going to have completely different schedules. You're going to be involved in different activities and have a variety of different friend groups, therefore respecting each others times and schedules is something that you must learn and master at. Even major wise, one week might be hell week for you and that week your best friend might be in the biggest crisis ever. Reassuring her that you do care and setting up a time to talk to her in your busy schedule can reassure her that her support system is still there. Abruptly disconnecting from your best friend during midterms and finals may happen because of how stressful those times are, but is not healthy. Communicating with your best friend that midterms and finals you may not talk much is very mature and planning out to talk either before and after is a very respectful thing to do.
6. Don't overthink-just communicate.
In college your best friend is going to be talking to other people about many things. Shes probably going to tell some of her best friends in college the biggest gossip before telling you, but don't go crazy! Im sure you would do the exact same thing because of the strong friendships you've made. There is no need to get jealous of the other girl she calls her best friend or to get mad at her for forgetting to tell you something. That will only cause more chaos and problems when all in all you just care a lot. You should talk to her just as you did this so many years before college. If you feel as though your best friend isn't putting in a lot of effort, just tell her. They should respect your opinion and probably will not take offense to it. But again understand that each person has their own life and schedule,
Breathe, Everythings going to work out. Hopefully by following these 6 steps you and your best friend can continue this friendship forevaaaa