The 9 Kinds Of Drunk People

The 9 Kinds Of Drunk People

If you can't think of someone, it's probably you.
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It's a Friday night and you're going out on the town. Friends are meeting up, bars are packed, and drinks are flowing to celebrate the end of the work week. Inevitably, you're bound to run into all kinds of drunk people. Here are 9 different types of drunks; if you can't think of someone who fulfills that role, it's probably you.

1. The uncontrollable party animal

The party doesn't really start until this person walks in, and the party is usually long over before this person gets over their desire to rage. Time sure flies when you're having fun, but this person never wants the fun to end--even though it may be 5 in the morning. They're just looking for the next party to hit.

2. The emotional drunk

This person just has "so many feelings!!" that they can't contain themselves. Add some alcohol to the mix and you've got yourself a full-on waterworks show. You can't blame them. They just want to bake a cake of rainbows and smiles that everyone could eat and be happy...

3. The fighter

"LET'S GO. YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?" This person is ready to fight anyone in a 5 foot radius. Fists are up and out, trash talk is the only means of communicating. Watch out for this person; it doesn't matter who you are because they came to the bar with the intent of fighting someone.

4. The drunkies with the munchies

The only reason this person went out in the first place was to get food on the way home. Everyone knows food tastes better when you're drunk, and this is the high that gets this person through life. Taco Bell, Cookout, Pizza Hut--watch out. This person is ravenous and wants food NOW. Most likely has at least five delivery places on speed dial.

5. The drunk child

Drunk baby syndrome is a real thing. The drunker this person gets, the more incoherent, incompetent and incapable they become. You have to carry their wallet, phone and any other belonging they brought with them or they're gone for good. They don't know their limit and they always need to have a babysitter. Not a good person to be.

6. The wanderer

This person will disappear constantly no matter how hard you try to keep eyes on them. One second they're next to you, and the next second they're gone. Go ahead and link up location services on their phone, because nine times out of ten, they'll be lost by the end of the night.

7. The philosopher

Everyone else at the party is chatting about their lives while this person is sitting with a few "like-minded peers" talking about big life topics. Life, death, politics, the solar system, ghosts--it's endless. Their philosophy is enough to make the drunkest person lose their buzz. Avoid this person at all costs; they'll probably be hanging out with the stoners against the wall anyways.

8. Sloppy drunk

Watch out for this person--keep a safe distance unless you want beer spilled on your outfit. This person is similar to the drunk child, but instead of becoming sick and incoherent, they discovery their sleazy wild side. They'll twerk on anything that stays still for more than 30 seconds and will inevitably attempt to go home/bring home a person they met out that night.

9. The self-destructor

The self-destructor is the peanut butter to the party animal drunk's jelly. They'll team up and do anything for a good time. Shots? Okay. Dares? You got it. Texts to their ex, to their moms, to the cute guy from Spanish class--it's a loss of complete self-control. The self-destructor will most likely wake up the next morning and think "Shit. I hate myself." They will also most likely do it again the next weekend.


So there you have it--the nine kinds of drunk people.

Which one are you?

Cover Image Credit: globe-views.com

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Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

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The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

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Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

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...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

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The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

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It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

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Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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