It's a Friday night and you're going out on the town. Friends are meeting up, bars are packed, and drinks are flowing to celebrate the end of the work week. Inevitably, you're bound to run into all kinds of drunk people. Here are 9 different types of drunks; if you can't think of someone who fulfills that role, it's probably you.
1. The uncontrollable party animal
The party doesn't really start until this person walks in, and the party is usually long over before this person gets over their desire to rage. Time sure flies when you're having fun, but this person never wants the fun to end--even though it may be 5 in the morning. They're just looking for the next party to hit.
2. The emotional drunk
This person just has "so many feelings!!" that they can't contain themselves. Add some alcohol to the mix and you've got yourself a full-on waterworks show. You can't blame them. They just want to bake a cake of rainbows and smiles that everyone could eat and be happy...
3. The fighter
"LET'S GO. YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?" This person is ready to fight anyone in a 5 foot radius. Fists are up and out, trash talk is the only means of communicating. Watch out for this person; it doesn't matter who you are because they came to the bar with the intent of fighting someone.
4. The drunkies with the munchies
The only reason this person went out in the first place was to get food on the way home. Everyone knows food tastes better when you're drunk, and this is the high that gets this person through life. Taco Bell, Cookout, Pizza Hut--watch out. This person is ravenous and wants food NOW. Most likely has at least five delivery places on speed dial.
5. The drunk child
Drunk baby syndrome is a real thing. The drunker this person gets, the more incoherent, incompetent and incapable they become. You have to carry their wallet, phone and any other belonging they brought with them or they're gone for good. They don't know their limit and they always need to have a babysitter. Not a good person to be.
6. The wanderer
This person will disappear constantly no matter how hard you try to keep eyes on them. One second they're next to you, and the next second they're gone. Go ahead and link up location services on their phone, because nine times out of ten, they'll be lost by the end of the night.
7. The philosopher
Everyone else at the party is chatting about their lives while this person is sitting with a few "like-minded peers" talking about big life topics. Life, death, politics, the solar system, ghosts--it's endless. Their philosophy is enough to make the drunkest person lose their buzz. Avoid this person at all costs; they'll probably be hanging out with the stoners against the wall anyways.
8. Sloppy drunk
Watch out for this person--keep a safe distance unless you want beer spilled on your outfit. This person is similar to the drunk child, but instead of becoming sick and incoherent, they discovery their sleazy wild side. They'll twerk on anything that stays still for more than 30 seconds and will inevitably attempt to go home/bring home a person they met out that night.
9. The self-destructor
The self-destructor is the peanut butter to the party animal drunk's jelly. They'll team up and do anything for a good time. Shots? Okay. Dares? You got it. Texts to their ex, to their moms, to the cute guy from Spanish class--it's a loss of complete self-control. The self-destructor will most likely wake up the next morning and think "Shit. I hate myself." They will also most likely do it again the next weekend.
So there you have it--the nine kinds of drunk people.
Which one are you?
