Being a parent of four, I have heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Every person has their own belief about what that phrase actually means. While some say it means every person that child comes across in life has some type of impact on their lives, both good or bad, and it helps mold that child to be the person he or she will be. Other people feel it means other people actually raise their children for them, taking care of tasks that the parent should be doing on a daily basis. I agree with the former groups thinking. The village is there to support children and their parents.
However, while talking with other moms that have children with different abilities and extra needs. I have found that the majority of their kids don't have a village. For some reason, these parents are raising their kids with little or no support. Sure, they have various doctors and therapists in their corner, but that isn't the same. It also isn't enough. If anything, the people who should be in our village, are holding pitchforks and torches in our faces demanding our children conform to the villages standards, telling us we are bad parents, and expecting our children to be anyone besides who they are. It's not that they don't want to be, it's that they are not capable of meeting that standard. These kids are not good enough to be included in a village, and it leaves the parents, and children, alone. It's sad and it's lonely. Instead, we parents of children with special needs have to seek out support groups and create our own village.
But why? Where is our village? Why are our children less important? Is it because it's hard to deal with, or see? Then it's a good thing you're not raising our children. It's hard for us, too! Every child and parent has a right to have a village. Each one has a right to have support from various sources, not just doctors and therapists. Not just immediate family. It is just as easy to be a positive and supportive, as it is to walk away and sharpen your pitchfork to drive us out of the village. Yes, we have struggles you don't have or even know how to deal with, but doesn't that give even more reason to support us? Ask questions. Do research. Be informed. Give us a 30 minute nap. Be in our corner and do something positive. No one one is asking you to raise our special kiddos. We are only asking to be incorporated in your village and receive what every other person desires: support.
