Being an Asian American, I have experienced racist comments before. They usually came from people my age like my classmates, and they usually aren’t that bad. There is a stereotype that comes with being Asian that I should be really good at school, quiet, and submissive, but none of that is actually me.
I would many times get, “Oh, you’re Asian, do my homework,” “Help me with my math,” “You’re so exotic,” “I want to date an Asian because it’s hot.”
These comments stem from curiosity as much as they come from ignorance. People should know better than to assume things based on my race, but I have learned to accept it and move on.
But for the first time ever, I was taken completely aback by something someone said to me -- and it came from a child.
As I babysat one night, a little boy began telling me about how he had “six girlfriends” at school. I laughed and asked what their names were, and he excitedly told me all about them all. After, though, he said, “But do you have a boyfriend?” And I said yes.
His next question completely surprised me. “What color skin does he have?” When I told him my boyfriend was black, he looked surprised and said “Is that OK, though? You should marry someone with the same skin as you.”
I had no clue what to say.
I have worked in schools, both public and private, as an after-school teacher, as well as picking up babysitting jobs when school is not in session. I have heard and seen a lot of things that I would not have been exposed to while not working with children.
Some of the things I have had to say to kids, I would have never imagined saying in my life.
“Stop trying to hit your brother with that Pop Tart.” “No, there are not rocks in your ear.”
But I never thought I would have to try and justify my relationship to a 5-year-old boy.
While this comment wasn’t directed at my specific relationship more than it was societal expectations as a whole, it still made me question who exactly shapes this mindset.
Trying to understand the world through a child’s perspective is difficult. They have so many influences and are completely dependent on other people to help cultivate them into the people they will become.
So when a kid says something hurtful, you can’t exactly blame them. They had to have learned whatever they said from someone at school or home.
It is awful to think that someone would directly or indirectly instill such hurtful values in a child. This isn’t a critique on the child’s values, but instead it is a critique on the society that constructed this mindset.
