When I was six, you had me promise you something. You saw me looking at my newborn baby brother with a little bit of fear in my eyes. You bent down to talk to me, and you asked me if I was scared. I said yes right away. That’s when you asked me for a promise. I asked you what I would promise you.
“When you get scared of what’s to come, I want you to keep your head held up high and keep going. The more you do that, the stronger you will become. Will you promise me that?”
I looked at you with so many questions to ask you, but instead of questioning, I promised. Almost 14 years later, I still think of you asking that.
At first, I didn’t get into the swing of things. I was that shy girl that didn’t speak her mind. I got scared of the littlest things like thunderstorms, swimming in the deep end, and saying hi to someone new. Later on, I would remember what I promised you and retry the next day.
Middle school, I took those little steps. I would tilt my head up a little and walk over to a table full of girls and ask them if I could eat with them. Lo and behold, they smiled at me and nodded their heads. High school came, and I’ll be honest, I backed down. I couldn’t be that strong girl you wanted me to be. A short year later, I didn’t like where I was and I knew that it was because I wasn’t keeping my promise. Here I am now, in college looking back to all the times I told myself to keep my head up high.
All of those horrible days in middle school, all of the times I was told I couldn’t do something, and all of those moments that were so hard for me to breathe, I remembered my promise to you. When my best friend chose her boyfriend over me, I kept my head up high. When my sister didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, I still kept my head up high. And when life throws more and more fire at me, I know to dodge them. I might be singed, but never burned.
I’m still keeping your promise, Dad.
