You May Not Have Time To Keep Up With High School Friends In College And TBH? That's OK

You May Not Have Time To Keep Up With High School Friends In College And TBH? That's OK

Even though it may sound like we don't care enough to make time for each other or weren't really best friends if we could be in the same place and still "drift" like that, I think it's safe to say that it's been a nice change of pace for our friendship.

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I usually count down the days until the weekend, but this past week I was looking forward to Friday a little extra. It was probably the most anticipation I've felt towards anything since move-in day. Friday was when my three best friends from high school were visiting me. Two of them go to different schools hours away, and the other is at Rutgers with me, but this would be the first time that the four of us, inseparable for the past four years, would be reunited after parting ways at the end of summer.

Spending time with my old friends and the new friends I've made here all together got me thinking about the relationships in my life before and after starting college. I come from a high school where over half the graduating class comes to Rutgers New Brunswick, so I was expecting college to be like high school 2.0. But since I've been here, I've realized that I was way off with that assumption. It's a nice balance of walking down the street and having a quick conversation with a familiar face, but also being able to form a completely new group of friends, separate from my high school ones.

This first month of college has taught me that the high school friends who are far away at other schools are easy to keep, whether it be an occasional FaceTime call or "I miss you" text. It's the old friends here, who I thought I'd be hanging with all the time, that have proven harder to stay in touch with. No matter how much we attempt to make plans or link up during our busy weeks, our time demands to be spent elsewhere. I barely have time to catch a meal in the dining hall between classes, studying, clubs, and building new friendships, let alone hanging out with old friends.

Take my one best friend who I saw on Friday, for example. This girl and I grew up a few doors down from each other, went to the same school, were co-captains of the same team, had all the same friends, and have basically been inseparable our entire lives. Now here we are at Rutgers where she's dorming on Livi, and I'm living on College Ave. We have conflicting schedules and completely separate circles of friends for the first time in our lives. In fact, it took our other friends coming from hours away to visit us for us to bring together our separate friend groups and hang out altogether on Friday night.

Even though it may sound like we don't care enough to make time for each other or weren't really best friends if we could be in the same place and still "drift" like that, I think it's safe to say that it's been a nice change of pace for our friendship. It's important to take a step back from these people we once felt so close to, and realize that it's OK to not be in each other's lives at all times. There's no use putting pressure on spending time with the people who have been in our lives forever when there is an entire university of people in front of us to meet.

This first month of college I've grown so close to a new group of people who I now feel like I've known my whole life. I've realized how hard it is to balance time for these new friends along with old ones, but that that's OK. We are all stressed in our crazy, hectic lives, and that's only gonna be increasingly true as we move farther and farther away from high school. That doesn't mean we should let go of high school altogether, but instead, we should make sure we have time to embrace all the new and exciting aspects of our lives. It's so important to enjoy the little things, like the new friends you sit around talking with at 4 a.m., just as much as the bigger ones like weekend visits from your best friends.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.

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There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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