I find myself constantly comparing myself to other people. People who are more attractive, more successful, more wealthy, more intelligent, more social, or any other criteria in which people can be judged. I especially feel jealous of an individual when they are the same or similar age to me. I feel extremely jealous and thus end up feeling resentful towards that person and more so myself.
Jealousy, of course, is a very human emotion and everyone has felt it at some point in their life. It inherently is not a negative emotion as it can be a sign of love or end up fueling one's own passions or work ethic. It is only negative when it does more harm than good. For me, it is almost always a negative emotion because it fuels self-hatred which leads to doubt and feeling hopeless.
I feel jealousy the most when I feel insecure about my future. As I am in my senior year and have to take my MCAT in a near couple of weeks, I feel very concerned about my future and whether my dreams are even a possibility. So when I see my peers already in medical school or getting near perfect scores on the MCAT, I can't help but feel a pang of envy and the pit in my stomach begins to throb, as if it were sobbing. I feel demotivated and suddenly the voice of doubt becomes so much stronger.
I become overwhelmed with thoughts like, "You'll never be able to become a doctor" or "You aren't smart enough to get into medical school." The fear of becoming a failure and what that looks like swallows the hours of my day. The truth is there is no easy way in life. No career path or choice will be easier than the other. If you become a brain surgeon or a housewife, both have their own trials and tribulations. There is always something to lose.
Everyone's future is filled with uncertainty and the fear of the unknown will exist no matter what choice you make. Having hope is the only choice that you have and seeing your current circumstances, whether it be uncertainty or even failure, in a positive light is the only thing that can push you forwards.