Everyone remembers their first love. Mine was a kid with brown, shaggy hair, an adorable smile, and the voice of an angel. I remember seeing him online for the first time when I was 11-years-old, and to this day, I just can't shake him. That beautiful boy's name was Justin Drew Bieber.
Everyone also remembers their first heartbreak. It's the shattering pain that's felt in your chest when you realize that your person will never be yours. It's the tears that form in your eyes when you hear his voice, and it's the progressive, sinking feeling of loneliness. It's like drowning in sorrow. It's the agony of rejection.
My first REAL heartbreak was felt this week when I read that Justin Bieber became engaged... to someone else.
I went to Justin's "Believe" concert when I was a freshman in high school, and I would have done anything to be the "One Less Lonely Girl" that he brought onstage and sang to in front of millions of jealous eyes. Although he didn't choose me, I have dreamed for countless years of him wrapping his arms around me and singing my favorite songs from all of his albums.
I know every word to every one of his songs. I have his birthday, March 1st, in my phone's calendar as "JB Day." I wore purple in middle school because I knew that was his favorite color. Does Hailey freakin' Baldwin know his favorite color or watch his documentary or cry at his concert because it was the happiest day of her life? Hm... I think not.
If you're a true Belieber like me, a person who loved him through the good times and bad, have his albums on repeat, and melt at the sight of all of his music videos, then you understand the heartbreak I felt when he announced his engagement.
Here are 11 Justin Bieber songs to cry to and relate to as you mourn the death of your non-existent relationship.
11. "Stuck in the Moment"
This jam from "My World 2.0" has been one of my favorites since middle school. The lyrics, "Now you don't wanna let go, and I don't wanna let you go" are very relatable during this difficult time in fans' lives. We're all stuck in this terrible nightmare that JB is actually tied down. Ugh.
10. "No Sense"
The title of this sensual song speaks for itself... it makes NO sense that Justin would break all of our hearts and seal the deal with Hailey. When he said, "Ever since the beginning now...you had that effect on me..." I felt that. I really do.
9. "Heartbreaker"
The "Journals" album is SO underrated, and I fell in love with this song almost as hard as I fell for JB. You said it best, Justin. "I know the seasons may change, but sometimes love goes from sunshine to rain." You broke all of our hearts. I'm not crying, I'm not crying, I'm not crying...
8. "Love Me"
This is one of Justin's older songs, and its catchy tune about begging for someone's love is stuck in my brain right now. Sigh.
7. "What Do You Mean?"
This single from the "Purpose" album was always one of the first songs I played in the mornings while driving to high school. Seriously, Justin, all of your fans are wondering: what do you mean, you're not single and available anymore???
6. "All Around the World"
I remember this was the first song he sang during the "Believe" concert. This upbeat tune might get you out of the blues during this depressing time, but the lyrics, "All around the world, people want to be loved" describes all Beliebers who now know their love won't be returned. :-(
5. "Never Let You Go"
This used to be the scream-in-the-car-with-the-windows-down song during my pre-teen years. The words, "There's a dream that I've been chasing/Want so bad for it to be reality" perfectly depicts all of us wishing and hoping that the engagement will end (... and soon).
4. "Boyfriend"
Literally, everyone knows the lyrics to this song. I mark it as the transition from when Justin turned into a true #man. Those sexy, raspy vocals at the beginning honestly make everyone wish that Justin was their boyfriend (or in this case, fiancé).
3. "Recovery"
The lyrics, "First, I'll acknowledge, all trust has been broken," is basically every Belieber's anthem right now. For some reason, we trusted that Justin was out there waiting for us. I guess we'll all have to seek recovery to deal with this emotional trauma.
2. "Baby"
This is the song that everyone loved to hate in middle school, but they still sang word for word at every school dance. The lyrics, "I thought you'd always be mine" are words that keep repeating in my mind during this phase of denial. No matter who your wife is, you'll always be my baby, JB!
1. "That Should Be Me"
The ultimate song. One of all my all-time favorite Justin Bieber jams... and it's all I can think of right now. This ballad is about longingly wishing to be with someone who is already taken. Oh God, I wish I could be Hailey Baldwin right now. Because "that should be ME holding your hand... feeling your kiss... making you laugh," Justin.
But it's OK, because all anyone wants is for the person they love to be happy. Your new fiancée may not love you like I do, and she might not know your entire life story like I know it, but I'm happy you've found love. I wish you the best, Justin, I really do.
But if your engagement fails... you know who to call. ;-)
man running in forestPhoto by 
