This year, I did not make any formal resolutions. I say "formal" because the resolutions I did make are not what I would consider "real" resolutions. Or maybe they are. I don't know.
Instead of resolving to eat more healthy food, go to the gym more or read more books, I resolved to love myself more.
I can hear you cringing, but please just hear me out.
What does it mean to love oneself? Is it buying fancy skincare products and reading popular wellness books? Is it bullet journaling or meditation? Is it following the newest "mindfulness" fad?
Yes and no. I do not believe any of those things are bad in and of themselves, nor do I think that they contradict the idea of self-love, but when I say I am going to try to love myself more, I mean something a little different. Here are three things I am committing to doing this year, and two things I am not doing:
1. I am going to spend more time listening.
Listening to others and to myself, specifically. I am going to listen to the quiet parts of me, the small voice that tells me to go to bed earlier, to eat breakfast, to go on a walk because the sun is out and I haven't been outside all weekend. I am going to listen to others when they tell me about their day, a book they are reading or how their last class went. I am going to learn to be silent as an act of self care.
2. I am going to spend more time with myself.
I am an introvert, and I already spend a great deal of time alone, but that is not what I am getting at here. I mean this: I am going to do things that I like doing. I am going to treat myself like another person, figure out what this other self likes and do it. I am going to watch a documentary on Netflix that looks interesting. I am going to sit by a window and listen to the rain outside. I am going to check in with myself, see how I am doing and what I can do to change what is not going well. I am going to be alone, but I am not going to be lonely.
3. I am going to actually take care of myself.
This one is more simple. I am going to take my medications when I should, check my blood sugar when I feel off and wear my sensor more. I am going to sleep when I need to and eat when I need to. I am not going to live solely off of coffee and graham crackers.
4. I am not going to spend more time around negative energy than I necessarily have to.
Here, I use negative energy as a catch-all for negative people, places and situations. Obviously, I cannot escape every negative person, place or situation, but I can manage how much time I spend in that space.
5. I am not going to do things just because other people are doing them and I want to feel validated.
This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. I am double-majoring in the humanities, and I often struggle with feeling like my major(s) and goals are valid, so I sign up for clubs, classes or other things to feel like I am "doing something with my life" or to validate my own work to myself. The things I love and the work I do are valid, that should be enough.
2018 is still bright and shiny and new. Here's to a fresh start. Happy new year, friends.
