We’ve all had those “OMG” moments, whether in high school or college, where an older boy takes “interest” in us. The group chat with you and your friends goes wild. Your heart starts beating faster than usual. And your head suddenly pushes all of your rational thoughts out of your system. You have a crush…and scientific studies have shown that your brain chemistry can trick you into thinking you have more in common with your crush than you actually do. Uh oh.
He may imply things to you like, “I’m pretty popular, and I’ve dated a lot of girls.” He may even list these girls’ names, which you think are significantly prettier than you. You get excited.
What that may ACTUALLY mean: I’m kind of desperate so I need to prove to you that I don’t need girls in my life, they need me. I’m also just listing a bunch of girls' names in my phone, I’ve never actually texted any of them.
He may take you out on dates, but they’re very secretive, and he won’t let your face even appear on his Snapchat story.
What that may ACTUALLY mean: I’m a little (extremely) embarrassed to be out with you right now, even though I might even actually like you. You’re pretty cool so I’m going to keep hanging out with you. I just don’t want to tell anybody. I’m insecure with my decisions.
He may claim he’s extremely experienced sexually, and he’s great at making girls feel good.
What that may ACTUALLY mean: To be honest I’ve only made out with a few girls. Please have sex with me so I can tell people I’m not a virgin?
He may claim all of his opinions are right because he is older than you and has “experienced” more out of life.
What that may ACTUALLY mean: I know you’re right and you’re super smart. But I’m a few years older than you, so you’re basically an infant and I’m Einstein.
He made a huge mistake. You’re clearly mad at him. He may send you a long apologetic text that makes you fall right back into his arms, even though he rarely shows signs of affection.
What that may ACTUALLY mean: I don’t want to risk losing you because you’re great to be around, but I won’t touch or kiss you because then you will think we’re “something.” We’re not.
The lesson…
Girls, just because someone is older than you does not mean you lose all rights of remembering who you are, what you stand for and giving yourself what you deserve. You aren’t his little puppy that follows him around everywhere when it’s convenient for him. You CAN stand up for yourself, you don’t HAVE to answer his Snapchat right this second and you don’t HAVE to drop everything to drive around with him for two hours. You deserve the “I’m going to show up with flowers at your friends house just because I like you” or “I’m kissing your forehead in public because it makes you feel special, and you are” kind. Because those guys do exist, trust me.
You do what’s best for YOU girl, and don’t let some insecure older guy ruin that.
