The difference between "High School Junior Me" and "College Junior Me" is this: I don’t give a flying fuck this year.

Okay, I’m pretty sure I won’t be failing any classes this semester, but yesterday was my first day of classes and I have already made mistakes. Maybe I shouldn’t call them mistakes; it's more like I have made observations about how I am inferior to my peers. So here’s a short list of my findings:

1. I’m not approachable.

Once I got out of my last class and met up with friends, the dinner conversation turned to how they had all gotten asked for help by strangers. They went on about how they gave directions and study tips and said that their answers made them feel seasoned and experienced.

I wasn’t able to participate in the discussion. I mean, I was still getting over the nausea I felt from seeing the syllabus from my previous class. So I said, “That’s weird, I didn’t get asked a single thing today.”

To my surprise, the response I got was, “Sharon, you’re not really approachable.” Apparently, I intimidate people with my walk and have a resting bitch face. Good to know. At first, I was shocked and felt obligated to smile more. But, after thinking about it, I’d rather not be bothered with questions and just get on with my day. So my facial expression works for me.

2. I didn’t know where my classes were.

(This may just come down to my intellect.) I live about 30 minutes away from campus. I left early, walked those 30 minutes and had enough time to spare to find my classes. Finding the building was easy, but finding the room the class was in was like finding Waldo.

God, I walked the same halls multiple times and got side eyes from multiple students whom I repeatedly passed. Luckily, I found the room in the end, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. I felt like a freshman all over again.

3. I still don’t know what career path to take.

I finally declared my major over the summer! Woohoo, yay me. No idea what I’m going to do with it yet. 16-year-old me believed that I would have gotten everything figured out by now. I don’t know, I just thought that being a junior would come with the benefit of knowing exactly what I want to do with my life, but that isn’t the case.

From my perspective, it looks like all my friends are doing amazing things with their lives, getting jobs at newspaper companies, interning at big entertainment industries, and working at banks. What’s even more impressive is that they know exactly what career they want to pursue and believe that they are meant to be doing what they’re doing.

I’m over here struggling to plan my next semester's electives. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way, but I do feel uneasy sometimes living life with, what seems like, no direction.

Overall, I've been liking my classes and have enjoyed spending time with friends, so it's not all bad. But if anyone out there has had similar encounters, find solace in the fact that you aren't alone.