I never thought that at 23 years-old I would still be in college, married, and have a child. I pictured myself already established in my career, living in a big city, and most likely single. My life is far from what I imagined it would be, but in a good way. I struggle with finances and my hectic schedule on a daily basis it seems, but motherhood has brought me so much joy.
The two pink lines appeared on my 22ndbirthday, May 5 of last year. I was just a couple weeks shy of graduating from Carl Albert State College with my associate’s degree in Psychology/Sociology. My husband and I were overwhelmed by this news. We were happy, but not sure if we could handle a baby on top of school. I’ve had classes with a lot of non-traditional students with children before. Some of them made it look easy while others barely seemed to get by. I knew we would have a great support system through our families which would make things easier.
I knew that having a baby young would come with a lot of unwanted, negative opinions. I felt judged twice a week while walking the halls of NSU with my big pregnant belly on display. I felt judged at work by my fellow co-workers that were single, independent, and college students themselves. It seemed like the odds were stacked up against me. I’m not a quitter, though. No matter what obstacles I would have to overcome, I was motivated more than ever to finish my bachelor’s degree.
Sophia Grace Perrin arrived on New Year’s Eve via emergency C-section. I have never fallen so love with someone before. I still went to my classes that spring and ended up finishing the semester with straight A’s. My husband did, too. It was the best my husband and I had done since starting college. It was hard at times to get our homework done and keep up with our duties at home. The sleep deprivation was awful! But, we still made it through better than probably anyone expected us to.
I am three semesters away from earning my B.A. in communications. I am currently working part time at Walmart while interning at my local newspaper. I am constantly battling the horrible “mommy guilt” from being away from my daughter so much this summer, but everything I do now is for her. She motivates me every day to be the very best version of myself. I am proud to call myself a mother, wife and college student. Some people may think that I gave up my early twenties, and that I am missing out on the “college experience." I have everything I could ask for, though. I feel incredibly blessed to wake up every morning to my daughter and husband.
Being a young mother has its struggles. There are times when the dishes piles up, the laundry seems endless, and there is not enough time in the day for me to complete all my work. Those days are hard. They make me want to pull my hair out and scream. I just keep reminding myself that I am going to beat the odds. My degree isn’t too far off, and I’m going to achieve it. I’ll walk across the stage at NSU in December of 2017 and be handed my B.A. in communications with my daughter watching me. I want to be that example for her. When you want something bad enough, you will always find a way.
