Something that we say often in our society is “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” And that’s kinda true, right? You never know what you’re going to miss out on when you put that book down solely based on the fact that you didn’t like what you saw on the cover. However, you also want to keep in mind that the author and publishing company chose this cover to represent the book, to draw readers in. If you don’t like how they chose to represent the book, why would you pick it up?

I think it goes the same way when we judge people. On one hand, you don’t want to assume anything about anyone based on what they’re wearing or how they chose to do their hair. But at the same time, if you don’t agree with certain aspects of their appearance, like if you don’t like the band on their shirt or the way they colored their hair pink, then you may not belong in that person’s friend circle, anyway. After all, this is how the person chose to represent themselves and exhibit what they like. I don’t think this has to be a bad thing — we aren’t meant to get along perfectly with everyone. That’s the beauty of there being 7 billion people in the world — you find your little pod where you feel you belong. But that also doesn’t mean we have to pass judgment based on attire or outward appearance. Just because you don’t like the band she listens to or the political party she belongs to doesn’t make her a bad person. It just means you have differences. Differences are healthy and necessary.

This is really important to remember, because the line can easily get blurry. We make assumptions based on looks on dating apps all the time. One flick of a finger, and you either accept this person or you don’t. We clearly can’t meet every person we come across on dating apps, so we have to narrow down the pool of complete strangers. We do this based on the pictures and short paragraph the person uses to represent themselves. In a way, this is judging a book by its cover. But in all honesty, I don’t think there will ever be a time we avoid making judgments all together. As humans, it’s in our nature. But there is always a difference between judging someone in the severe sense and just not agreeing.