For some reason, people seem to have this very deluded perspective on Long Distance Relationships (LDR’s).
I have been in a LDR for over a year and a half, throughout which I have felt varying types of judgement time and time again.
I am not entirely sure why, but it seems some people have this opinion that LDR’s are not as credible as relationships that habitat the same area on a constant basis. I can safely say that it takes an insane amount of work to keep a LDR going. If working day in and day out to maintain a strong relationship when you’re miles apart counts as illegitimate then yes, LDR’s are not credible by any means.
My personal LDR is due to school, while others can be due to meeting online, military, moving away as well as many other causes. Whatever the reason, if the couple decides to take that step and fight for their relationship rather than just giving up on it, it should be respected.
My relationship is central to San Diego, where we both live when not away at school. Otherwise, we have experienced being long distance from California to Ohio (2,167 miles), as well as from California to Ireland (5,184 miles).
Being in a LDR comes with many things you need to keep in mind. There has to be so much trust between two people. The ultimate level of trust that you can have with someone, because you must be able to depend on them even when they're miles away. You need to believe that they're never lying to you. You have to try not to make things a bigger deal than they are.
One piece of baggage that comes with a LDR is jealousy. While I have never truly considered myself a jealous person, being in a LDR made me realize how quickly that can change. It is a tad humiliating, because these sparks of jealousy can pop up for the most mundane reasons. New names you've never heard, plans that are made. The biggest one for me is purely being jealous that other people get to spend time with her while I don't. But again, trust is a huge factor with jealousy. Just because they're enjoying themselves and having fun miles away doesn't mean they don't wish you could be there with them too.
The feelings of sadness, loneliness and/or jealousy are all mutual. If you really trust the person, then you also need to trust that these feelings are not just one-sided on your part.
Some things to remember when taking part in a LDR are to maintain a healthy level of calling/Facetiming. Hearing their voice and seeing their face helps so much. Sending letters or small care packages might seem corny, but in reality getting something in the mail can really brighten their day- and yours, after seeing how happy they are!
If people make you feel inadequate when they find out you're in a LDR, ignore them. Or if you really want to, ask them why they think that. Change their mind and make them see just how much work, love and dedication goes with being in a LDR.
And remember that it might completely suck at the moment being apart from someone you love, but in the end, it will all be worth it.
