I’ve never been much of the “go with the flow” type. I’m more of the “swim AGAINST the flow while demanding answers and killing everyone’s vibe” kind of girl. Throughout my life, I’ve always been a meticulous planner. As someone with anxiety and an (unhealthy?) desire for control, the more detail I know about something, the more comfortable I feel about it. I love settling into daily routines and despise surprises and the unknown. For example, I often read the last chapters of books first and don’t get me started on the horror I feel just thinking about the possibility that one day I'll be thrown a surprise party. The most spontaneous I get is when I decide to throw on some bright colored lipstick as I’m walking out the door. Recently, though, I’ve tried to leap out of my comfort zone and try my hand at true spontaneity.
Despite my fears, I’ve always been fascinated by spontaneous and uninhibited people. As a huge comedy nerd, I’ve frequented quite a few improv shows. Improv is an art that thrives on spontaneity and forces performers to think and make decisions very quickly. I love to watch improv and observe how some people are able to think so freely without having any time to plan what they will say because improv represents everything that I’m scared of. Earlier today, I had to call a doctor’s office and outlined exactly what I was going to say to ease my nervousness. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to perform for a crowd without any type of plan! While performing improv is possibly the scariest thing possible for me, I’ve always marveled at the performers’ abilities to think on their feet.
I also choose to surround myself with quite spontaneous people, something that has caused me some stress in the past. Now, though, I’m trying to embrace their way of living and I’ve been learning a lot from pushing myself out of my comfort zone. When making plans to hang out with friends, I like to know the who/what/when/where/why as far in advance as possible. I also tend to try to stick to hanging out with people I know well and going places I’ve been several times. I sometimes say no to nights out if I feel like I didn't have time to mentally prepare myself for social interaction. Recently, though, I’ve been trying to say “yes” more when my friends make last minute plans and so far those plans have turned into some memorable nights.
About a week ago, I was sitting in my dorm room alone, probably watching some crime documentary as college kids typically do. I got a call from a friend asking if I wanted to go to a nearby park to hang out with a group of people. Normally, I would’ve said no. I didn’t know who was going to be there, I had never been to this park before and I was in the routine of staying in my dorm on nights when I had school in the morning. Sure, I was bored sitting all alone in my dorm room, but I felt very comfortable.
Despite that, I decided to say yes and hang out for a while. I’m so glad I did. That night I made some new friends, listened to new music and yes, even played some improv games! It was one of my most memorable nights of my first year at college and I wouldn’t have had the experience if I had done what felt safe.
In just the past few weeks, I have been on a saying yes kick and I’ve had some really great experiences because of it. My initial leap of spontaneity showed me just how rewarding it can be to be so uninhibited. It became easier for me to keep saying yes! Whether it be sneaking into a VIP poetry gala with friends, taking impromptu trips to parks or going crystal shopping with a classmate you’ve never talked to, taking a leap can often be really rewarding.
As overwhelmed humans, we have a tendency to try to schedule our social experiences instead of just letting them happen naturally, something that can be limiting. Living spontaneously allows one to live in the moment, adapting to things as they happen.
Learning to be more spontaneous is also a very important skill to have, even one that can help to limit anxiety. I know that personally when I make very rigid schedule plans if something goes wrong the whole plan falls apart, it causes me to freak out. Losing control of a situation is a huge fear of mine and leaving no room for spontaneity almost sets plans up to fail. Instead, learning to be adaptable and roll with the punches is beneficial. It allows changes in plans to seem less catastrophic.
For me, spontaneity is synonymous with adventure. In saying “yes” and stepping out of my comfort zone, I am giving myself permission to experience new things and meet new people. I want to live my life without having a ton of regrets and I believe saying “yes” will aid in that. I hope to challenge myself to put my fears aside and take the leap in order to optimize every moment of my life and learn to adapt instead of equating changed plans with crises. I am young and have so much I want to experience in life, so I hope to always seize opportunities presented to me without feeling limited by taking the "known" route.
