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Applicant Promoted During Interview

For the first time ever, a new applicant to the BestFoods™ was promoted on the spot.

Karina Teichert

Aug 06, 2018

Johns Creek, Georgia Alpharetta, Georgia

Pexels

It was a regular Thursday afternoon when Mikayla went into her interview with BestFoods™.

She was nervous, but reminded herself that she was qualified and prepared for anything. She had spent all of the day before researching the position she was applying for and the company at which she hoped to be employed. As she walked in, she told herself to smile and not to expect much, or so she told us.

According to Mikayla, her interview went far better than she ever could have dreamt. (Yeah right, let's all pretend that she isn't completely aware of how "brilliant" she is and that she totally doesn't lord it over us every day of our lives. Humility my foot.) The second she walked in, the interviewer looked her up and down, asked her what her name was, and resigned. When asked about the incident, he said that "hiring Mikayla would be the peak of my career.

As a hiring manager, I was acutely aware that there was no one else that could possibly top her, so I immediately resigned." After I asked how he could possibly know this after only taking a glance at her, he said that he "could just tell." (Insert eye-roll here.)

Mikayla not only got the job, but also got promoted to manager as soon as she was hired. I think I heard the interviewer mutter something about "the look and attitude of a leader." Who says I don't have the look and attitude of a leader, JANET?!

I could've written some hard-hitting pieces for you! I'm a qualified and competent journalist, but noooo, you had to go with Steven instead! Steven's a tool! He can't tell left from right, much less distinguish between investigative and gonzo journalism! So instead of hiring me, JANET chose Steven, and I'm stuck at some second-rate nobody newspaper that's got a one-way ticket to bankruptcy.

NO, I'M NOT BITTER, STEVEN! I CAN HANDLE REJECTION! I'M NOT A ONE-DIMENSIONAL CRYBABY LUNATIC, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW! OH WOW, LOOK AT OUR LITTLE GENIUS! LOOK EVERYBODY, STEVEN CAN DETECT VEILED INSULTS! I'M SO GLAD JANET HIRED HIM!

*Disclaimer: This is satire. There is no way you can possibly get promoted the second you are hired. If you do somehow manage to do that though, give me a call because I'd love to have some of your tips.*

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

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For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

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Applicant Promoted During Interview

For the first time ever, a new applicant to the BestFoods™ was promoted on the spot.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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