Every year during the holiday season, us Jews are united through an unspoken bond that goes beyond our shared love of the sizzling of lakes and the excessive accumulation of gelt. The month of December is full of "Christmas cheer". It is merely impossible to set foot in a store without hearing the tinkling sleigh bells or being blinded by red and white. It is undeniable that we are not only the minority but incredibly underrepresented, which can be frustrating at times. Where are all the menorahs and dreidels, people?
These are 15 problems that us Jews have to endure year after year:
1. Being told, “Merry Christmas!”
And never knowing whether or not to correct people.
2. When people apologize for assuming you celebrate Christmas.
Don't do it-- it’s just awkward.
3. Everything is closed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
… Except for Chinese restaurants.
4. You're always the one to go into work.
It may seem as if you’re doing something heroic, but it’s really just another ordinary day for you.
6. Secretly wishing you had a Christmas tree to decorate...
Your family may have gotten a “Hanukkah bush” to cope with this.
7. Being forced to sing Christmas songs in school as a kid.
You still know all of the words to “Rudolph The Red-Nose Reindeer”, “Frosty The Snowman”, and “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”.
8. You had to keep your mouth shut when all of your friends still believed in Santa.
9. Your parents pretended that “Hanukkah Harry” exists.
No. Just no.
10. When all of the other houses on the block had colorful light displays and giant blow-ups, you had a simple menorah in the window.
Your house was always dim in comparison.
11. Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song” is seemingly the only song ever written about Hanukkah.
“Sooooo put on your yarmmulkee, it’s timmee for Hanukkahhhhhhh!!”
12. Never being able to experience the magic of “Christmas morning”
But the eight nights of presents are pretty cool, too.
13. Somehow, those who celebrate Christmas always seemed to get more extravagant gifts.
They were the kids that got the Wii when it first came out, the chestnut-colored Uggs that were sold out everywhere, and the latest phone.
14. Unless Christmas and Hanukkah fall on the same day, you don’t get time off during the Holiday.
Discrimination at its finest.
15. Secretly loving candy canes, gingerbread, and Christmas cookies.
Not to mention the candles and lotions that smell like them, too.
While you can't deny that Christmas looks like a lot of fun, it is hard not to kvetch about the lack of acknowledgement that Hanukkah (or is it Chanukah?) receives.
So the next time you light the menorah, remember that it doesn't matter what it is you celebrate; what's important is togetherness.