"All" is a word that has gotten to me this week.

I have caught myself singing lyrics like "you're gonna have all of me" and "I surrender all."

All is a popular choice for Christian music, and that's no accident. It's also a popular theme for the precious book we hold to be the ultimate truth.

But as the words poured out of my mouth I was left with a bitter taste. Something's just not right.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow;
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

I realized that I am a toddler with an arm full of seashells and I refuse to give them up.

Have I lost it? Nope.

But this was the best illustration I could think of.

I am not giving Jesus "all."

I am holding my seashells and giving him the ones that are easy to let go of. I am giving him my Sunday mornings, because that's easy. I am giving him devotional time, because that's not hard either.

But I am gripping the seashells of fear, hurt, time and talents.

I hand over the broken shells. I stand with the deceptive beauty of control.

"Maybe if I hold onto these, the Lord will be pleased with what I have given Him." I reason with myself and justify my greed.

I am not giving those--the precious shells of fear, hurt, time, and talents--to the Lord, because they require more of me.

I will sit in the sand and maybe even put my seashells down beside me, but never hand them over to Jesus.

This week, let us sincerely surrender all. Make that our prayer.

May we surrender control. In every single situation.

May we surrender our time. It is so precious, and Christ is so worthy.

May we give Jesus our hurt and failures. We do not need to hold on to those for one second longer. Not when the King of Kings died to free us from them.

May we hand over the things that we have been holding for so long that are making us tired and leaving marks on our hands.

I am taking the sand that I am building my own castle with and adding it to the Kingdom of God.

I am getting serious about what I sing. When I sing for the Lord to lead me where my trust is without borders, I want to mean it.

May words pour through my lips toward God that are not 110% genuine.

Yes, we all fail. Grace makes it ok. Christ's completed work on the cross allows us to be free from that failure.

But may we really let God have all of us.

How different would we be? How differently would we serve?

Because I realized that the heart of the problem was that I had a heart problem. It's not what I did not have; it's what I would not let go of.

Loosen my grips and allow me to stand with empty hands, so that I can freely raise them in praise of You. So that I can use my hands to serve the least of these. So that I can give without hesitation. So that I can hug the hurting and build up the broken.

You're getting all of me now, Jesus.