As a jazz performer, I often get asked, "Hey, Hannah, I want to be cool and play jazz like you, but it looks really hard. How do you do it?"
Well, dear reader, with my 12 step program, you too can be a "cool cat" and "jive" with the other funky ladies and gentlemen who make up the jazz world. It's free for a short time, so call now! Or just keep reading.
1. Get an instrument.
One of the most important parts of jazz is having an instrument. While some instruments are more common than others in the genre (saxophones, drums, guitar, bass), I have also seen french horns, accordions, flutes and violins featured in some great ensembles.
2. Learn how to play your new instrument.
Unless, of course, you are H. Jon Benjamin (voice of Sterling Archer and Bob of Bob's Burgers). He recorded an entire jazz album without knowing how to play the piano. And it's not terrible.
3. Wear sunglasses indoors.
This isn't so much about the sunglasses as it is about looking good. If you look good, you feel good. Which brings us to...
4. Work on your jazzy attitude.
Jazz is all about the attitude. It takes a lot of guts to stand in front of a crowd and improvise a solo. I like to pretend I'm Beyoncé but any confident person or creature will do (ferrets would probably play good jazz).
5. Listen to jazz.
I am a staunch believer that there is jazz out there for everyone—it's such a wide genre. Some starting points: Brian Blade, Youngblood Brass Band, Miles Davis, Wayne Shorter, Nina Simone, Snarky Puppy, Red Baraat, and Dizzy Gillespie to name a few.
6. Make friends who like jazz and have completed steps 1-5.
Congratulations, you have a band! Now find some lead sheets or create your own and get playing.
7. Practice your repertoire.
It's easy to get distracted, so have some really long rehearsals to give yourselves time for work and play.
8. Schedule a gig.Now you have a deadline! It's easier to get your band to practice more if you have a solid date to adhere to.
9. Play your first gig!
... Okay, so maybe that didn't go as you planned. First concerts rarely do. Time to go back to the drawing board!
Go to concerts, listen to music, and regain your passion for jazz. It's time to get inspired.
11. Practice MORE.
Until your fingers hurt, really. It's okay because you're about to make *music.*
12. Play your second gig!IT WAS A SUCCESS! Now you are truly 100% a jazz musician. You were all along.
Side effects may include dancing, dizziness, uncontrollable shouts, bass neck, twitchy fingers and funk.
