I am going to be 19-years-old in less than a month and I have never been in love with another person. I have, however, loved pizza, the New York Giants, "Grey’s Anatomy" characters, and my dog for as long as I can remember. I have experienced love before; I love a lot of things and people. My family is the biggest source of love in my life, followed closely by my friends, but I have never been IN LOVE with anyone else. This should not be weird. I am still so young, why should I have been in love already? It’s not a necessity to become an adult only after you’ve experienced love.
I am not some dark and twisty girl who’s never had a crush or been with people before, I just don’t tap into my emotions often. I keep them to myself so that when the right person comes along they don’t get me with previously broken pieces. I have watched everyone around me fall in love (or more realistically, lust). I’ve tried to plan it out in my head and shape what this eventual love would look like for me. I have picked different aspects from books and movies, and think to myself this is what love is going to look like for me. It’s going to be the kind of love that makes me the person I am supposed to be, I can’t be me without this love. But that hasn’t happened yet. But why the hell, at almost 19-years-old, am I supposed to be worried about love? And I have figured out my own problem: I am a hopeless romantic who won’t settle for anything less. But I’m not sure that this is a bad thing.
Around my house, my parents and siblings many times refer to me as the princess. I am the middle child, so I mean of course I should be treated accordingly, but I am not the media’s portrayal of a princess. I do not fall in love with the first guy that looks at me. I put up walls and mess around because I know they aren’t it. I don’t let anyone get close to me because I am a firm believer in "when you know, you know." My parents, bless their hearts, knew each other for eight months and got engaged. Out of the eight they knew each other only dated for three, and will be celebrating 25 years of marriage in October. My parents are the primal example of when you know, you know. So yes, I am hoping to have the kind of love my parents do, but if it happens a different way that’s cool, too.
I realize I am ranting about never being in love at 19. I know it seems like a funny thing to say, but I know a lot of girls that have this need to be loved. To have a boy that is all theirs, willing to do everything for them, but that doesn’t always happen in high school, or when you first get to college. Love isn’t something you go looking for - it just happens. So to the girls and boys who think they need love to be happy right now slow down, you have plenty of time. If not, I recommend becoming a dog person. They’re easier to love than people.
