Hey sunshine,
I know that it feels much safer and more comfortable with your back to the wall. The wall seems like the perfect place where nothing can harm you, no experiences can scar you, and you don’t have to watch your back for those strangers who have nothing but bad intentions. But I’m here with my hand reached out to you to tell you that it’s time to leave the wall because it’s not going anywhere. As for you, there’s endless possibilities.
By definition, a Wallflower is someone who, by shyness or unpopularity, is forced to the sidelines of any social activity. They could also be someone who has no one to dance with, or who feels shy, awkward or excluded at a party.
No one should ever feel as if they have to sit back and watch others live freely and have fun while they cling to the wall for fear of rejection or humiliation. I, Kira, formally invite every single one of you to be my dance partner at this party that happens to be our lives.
We can start small. Instead of scrolling through Instagram and saying “that’s so cute” or "that looks so cool” make or take your own cool pictures. The next time you’re out with a pal say, "Hey, let’s take a picture.” Lay out in the grass and snap a quick selfie. It doesn’t have to be the next cover of Vogue magazine and it may not get the 200 plus likes that your typical blogger gets on their pictures but it’s one step away from the wall, so you’re still safe. So far.
Let’s take it up a notch. This fall when classes start, how about we sit somewhere not in the last seat, of the very last row, right next to the door. We’re not quite ready for the middle seat in the front row, though maybe by spring semester we will be. You don’t have to know everyone in the class or be that kid that talks so much that class always gets out late. What I would like is for you to make at least one buddy in each class. Someone you can get notes from, or even possibly form a study group with. Caution: this may lead to a friendship where they will invite you to social events on campus because who knows, you may be their one buddy as well.
If you’re brave and ready to take the big step, find something new to try out. As a wallflower you may be used to people counting you out because they think it’s just not your thing. Show them and yourself that you’re up for the challenge. Maybe it’s the job you’ve always wanted to do. For myself it was being a resident assistant, which I’m happy to say I finally cha-cha’d my way into (Look out Charger Village). It may be an organization you’ve been thinking of joining, or a sorority or fraternity. A position inside that organization or even a bar you’ve heard was really fun (or a themed party for those under age). For all you know, it could be an event during Week of Welcome (if so please find me and we can hit as many as possible). Whatever it is, go out and try it!
Before you know it, you’re off the wall and making your way out to the dance floor, possibly the best dancer out there with more friends than you know waiting to join.
You haven’t changed a thing about who you are. You’re still observant, a great listener and you still blend in when you feel the time is right. But as you remove yourself from the wall, you allow people to get to know you. You’re including yourself, you’re meeting new people, and hopefully trying new things.
If my mom taught me anything, it was to go out, do and be whoever you want.
To that I would add: Don’t be pushed aside or excluded. If you are, learn to do your own thing. Don’t worry about what others say or think about you. Most of all, never be afraid to try new things and always be open to meeting new people.
Promise me, dear wallflower, that you’ll give the wall a break. And if you get the choice to sit it out or dance… you’ll hit the running man with all you’ve got.
