More often than not we have heard the phrase “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Most of the time we heard this it was when we made a snide remark to our younger sibling, or spoke rudely about someone else. As we grow older, this phrase actually becomes more relevant than one would think.

Nowadays, it seems as if people are always talking about someone else. Where someone else was, who they were with, what they were doing, what they were wearing, what they were saying, the list goes on. People have become obsessed with other people. They feed off this need to gossip and talk about other people, as if it is the only type of conversation they know to have. I find myself walking into conversations of girls talking about another girl, and that's all they talk about.

Here is the bottom line: if your friendship is based off of talking about other people, I hate to break it to you, but you are not friends. Perhaps it would be more beneficial to have a conversation about what your goals are, what you fear most, your admirations -- anything is valuable and more worthwhile than gossiping.

There are so many better things to talk about than other people. Yet, it seems as if we have become obsessed with sharing information about other peoples' lives. The reality is we are all going through the ups and downs that life brings us and while talking about other people may raise us up for a little bit, it has far worse consequences in the long run. The next time you open your mouth to speak about somebody, think before you speak. If the words you are about to say are going to be hurtful rather than helpful, do not say them. Remember, what you say about other people when they aren’t around to defend themselves says a lot more about you than them.

Which brings me to my next point, what happens when someone is there to defend themselves? Even when people aren’t gossiping, they are still being rude to other people. Even as college students, people have this tendency to still be mean toward each other. Cliques are tighter than ever, the cattiness is more extravagant than ever and drama never ceases to end.

How about, instead of ripping each other down, we raise each other up? Find something positive and worthwhile to say about another person, not something negative. For everything mean you say about someone else, reverse it with two compliments. Once we stop belittling others, our lives will take such a more positive turn.

We need to learn that nothing good comes with gossiping. In this day and age it is so important to be friendly and kind to one another rather than being rude and mean. We girls need to be there for each other, we need each other to raise ourselves higher and boost our confidence, not bring it down. It is so much easier to be kind, yet it has become such a rare thing and gossiping has almost become the norm.

It is time to start focusing more on ourselves rather than each other. Invest more energy into how we ourselves can become better people, not how we think other people need to be by investing our time into their lives by talking about them.