Remember that one time when I let you oversleep? When I let you fall and break your arm? Or that time that I let you drink too much? Because I do. And I want you to know that I'm sorry. Who am I talking to, you might ask? Well... I'm talking to myself.
It's time that I finally sit myself down and say that I am sorry. Now that I think about it, I don't think that I've ever actually looked in the mirror or taken a moment to apologize to myself, and I don't think that a lot of people consider doing it either. But when was the last time that you really thought about how you treat yourself? When did you realize that you could be happy instead of sad based solely on your actions and judgments?
This past month, as I've started to really dig into my college freshman year, I've realized that my happiness does not and should not depend on other people. That is up to me. I'm the one who has to deal with and process my emotions, so why would I treat myself like I'm just a stone in an ocean? Why do I always put other people before myself when I know that I need to help myself? Don't get me wrong, helping others is one of the best things that you could do, but you have to remember yourself too. In all reality, we should treat ourselves the way that we deserve to be treated. We deserve to treat our bodies like precious temples that they are. We deserve to address our emotions and express that.
So here I am, trying to recognize what it is that makes me special. How am I different from other people and how can I benefit from my differences? We all have a little something special about ourselves, and I don't think that that's something that should be smothered by the walls that we build to hide our true selves. All of the talents we hide were given to us for a reason, so stop hiding them. Stop doubting yourself and putting yourself down. There will only ever be one you. You don't get a second chance at life, so make the one that you have the best life you could live.
Now that I've recognized this, I have to stop myself from hurting the tender soul that I am lucky enough to call mine. So, here I am, again, saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever doubting myself. For all of the times that I've told myself that I was not good enough and that I would never amount to anything. I'm sorry for ever telling myself that my dreams would never come true. I'm sorry for treating my body terribly, from not eating to overeating. I'm sorry for all of the times that I shut my feelings out because I was too scared to confront them. I'm sorry for not taking care of myself like I should.
Do yourself a small favor. Go look in a mirror and tell yourself five things that you enjoy about yourself, whether it be your eyes, your jawline, your laugh, anything. Stop tearing yourself down and start building yourself up. Give yourself the apology that you deserve.
