The past is a place that your mind likes to bring up to spark regret within you. You’ll sit there for days wondering what could’ve happened if this happened and question all of the what ifs. But if you really think about it, what’s done is done. You can’t change the past.

I am someone who tends to be very worrisome. Whenever I think about lost friendships or look back on the mishaps in my love life, I dwell. Dwelling is something that I can’t seem to escape, but as the new year begins I am taking the bull by horns and looking it in the face.

Instead of sitting there and wondering what could’ve happened if I said something different, or if I was at a different place in my life, I know now that I need to take a look at the future and how bright it is now that I’ve done what’s best for me.

It’s inevitable that you’re going to dwell when you go through a tough situation, but it’s important to understand how much better off you’ll be once you move forward.

Your past is not your future.

It never will be. Yes, history can repeat itself but the next time something like this comes around you’ll know how to handle it and not dwell as much in the aftermath.

A good way to keep moving forward is to really think about how that situation made you feel. If you felt negative, anxious, or unhappy then think about it this way: there’s nothing to dwell on. Being stuck in something that isn’t good for anyone, especially for your mental health. Thinking about how that situation made you feel can be a reminder as to why you’re done and get rid of the regrets and worries.

If the situation made you feel happy, yet unfulfilled, don’t worry. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe leaving that friendship or relationship will open you up to what you truly deserve.

When you’re stuck dwelling on the past, take a step back, look at the situation, and think about your self-worth. You are worth so much more than a bad friend, or an unworthy boyfriend. You belong to yourself so remember what’s best for you is what matters the most.

No, that doesn’t make you selfish. That makes you strong. Reminding yourself of your self worth will only make you a better person and reduce how much stress and regret you add to a past situation.

The next time you’re dealing with an extra stressor in your life, ask yourself how important it is and if it’s even worth worrying about. I promise you that you will feel a sense of relief and security within yourself. Keep your guard up, and don’t give into the little monster called Dwell. Moving on with your life and having a positive outlook will kick Dwell to the side making you the bad ass that you are.