I woke up this morning with a long list of to-do's before the move to Chicago occurs. Rolling out of bed, I expected a hot morning where I'd have to make my run short and sweet in fear of dying, but contrary to a normal Missouri day, it was raining. Not only did this rain put a dent in my workout, but it made me a little angry. I decided to push my workout back a little bit and wait for the weather to chill out, so I made a cup of coffee and found my dad watching golf on the patio. Sneaking up on him, I noticed how calm he looked sitting by a fire and watching what he loves. For a moment, I knew the Lord changed my plans for the day, so I could spend time with this man before our lives became separate for the first time.
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When we all decided to follow our dreams, play sports in college, rush sororities and fraternities or move away just for the sake of it, I think we imagined life would be the same, just in a different place. But think about it: We've been conditioned to interact with the same group of people for 13 years, and now, as adults, we're essentially just going back to kindergarten. We need to make new friends, separate from our moms and dads again, and learn our own identities, just at a higher level than when we were six. Based on society's expectations, this is what we're supposed to do. And I think we all thought it would just be a walk in the park.
But this week has been nothing close to easy. It's been full of goodbyes, "one last times" and let's not forget the tears.
Three days ago, I received a text from a good friend thanking me for my friendship throughout high school and embracing the fact that we'll see each other soon, only to make our reunion that much more special.
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Yesterday, I watched a best friend, who's strong as a bull, cry saying goodbye to his brothers. And I, an emotional teenaged girl, returned the tears in a hug I wish could've lasted forever.
The goodbyes are not quite finished, as I will take Chicago by storm Thursday morning. I can't say I'm ready to part with the few friends I have left here in St. Louis, but I know it'll have to happen and each one is different than the next.
In the back of my mind, I worry a little bit that the relationships I make in college won't hold a candle to the people I've been with in high school, but it's time to find out. So how do we deal with all of this?
My plan is to use college to better myself completely. This is the time when the world is literally at my fingertips. I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want, when I want. And that's the truth. I plan to focus on myself, improving my everyday life, so adulting isn't so hard anymore. My high school memories will always be cherished, coming from a place where tradition and love is part of everyday life. I'm really looking forward to reuniting with my high school friends, sharing our new life experiences together and kicking back like we used to. So here's to the future, our "life plans" and our amazing pasts. And to my friends, if you're reading this, I have faith that the Lord will guide you where you need to go. Best of luck.
