This is a very somber topic. I used to think time could heal everything until I experienced the death of a loved one. I was young so I could not understand properly what was happening except that I knew I was not gonna see that person again. I learned to go back to my daily life. Back then I thought time healed the wound.
2016 greeted us with a terrible loss. Unlike the death of grandfather, I was present for the death of my godfather. When I say present, I mean that I saw the life leave his body. I woke up January 1st by a sound coming from the guest room, I opened the door of my room almost colliding into my aunt and see my mom, a doctor, giving CPR to my uncle. It took me one second to realize what was happening, I ran to grab the phone to call 911. I tossed the phone to my aunt as I ran out of the house to look for another doctor.
Long story short, the doctor was asleep, I managed to get someone to drive my family to the hospital, they met the ambulance halfway and he did not make it. It was a long month. I did not let myself mourn until late at night since I felt it was my responsibility to be strong. I had to make sure my aunt would eat and not do something drastic.
To this day, the wound has not healed but I have learned how to live with it. In the fall, my family was met with two losses in a row. I took them at heart and I have not learned how to live with the pain from losing my two closest friends, my pets. I know they are not human but they were family. They taught me how to get out of my bubbles (I was antisocial due to bullying) and to trust people.
My plan is to not make you sad but to let you know you will learn how to smile again. You will mourn, feel overwhelmed by the pain, and not feel like doing anything. Months will pass and you will feel better.