The other day I went to the movies with a group of my friends. We went and saw the new Christian movie "I Can Only Imagine."I was so excited to get to spend time with my friends and see this new movie that I had heard so much great stuff about. When I go and see Christian movies, I always anticipate emotion coming along with it.
But this movie brought about a lot more emotion than I expected.
There was a scene in the middle of this movie where the main character's father passed away. The minute that scene happened, I broke down into tears, remembering when that happened in my life. No matter how many years go by, and how strong I think that I am, I don't think it will ever be easy to see those types of scenes without being reminded of what I went through as a child. I tried my hardest not to show emotion since I was with a group of people.
But that is one thing that will always make me cry. As the movie progressed, they showed a funeral scene and a scene where the father appeared in the audience when the character was singing. I could barely compose myself because I just felt so much hurt, knowing that I won't be able to see my dad on earth ever again, but that he gets to watch me every day from Heaven.
I realized that night when I got home that it is OK to not stay strong all the time. I am always trying to put on a brave face, and not let other people see my emotion. That works for a little bit until it all builds up and I crumble. I have found that it is important to embrace the emotions that come with loss. A loss will never be easy to understand, but when we lay our feelings out on the table, and embrace what we are feeling, it will get easier to face them.
This movie reminded me that one day I will be with my dad again and that I won't have to miss him so much anymore. But while I am still on earth and missing my dad I have learned that it is important to not push my feelings to the back burner of my life.