It's OK To Be A Failure

It's OK To Be A Failure

Why focus on all the things we can't do when we should be focusing on all the things we can do?

Like a lot of people, I go through life trying to avoid failure like it's some sort of plague. Just the word "failure" conjures up all sorts of frightening images: a big, red F on an exam, blundering through a job interview, your Fitbit letting informing you that you didn't meet your step goal for the day, a supervisor informing you of a major mistake you made at work, and so on.

For me, giving up on something automatically equals failure. It's just the way I'm programmed - and when I think about it, maybe it's the way that society has programmed most of us. When I think of giving up, I think of not being good enough to continue doing something. I think of not having the strength or the ambition to excel in whatever situation or position is at hand. Giving up is seen as bad. Something we shouldn't do. And if we do indeed give up at something, we are supposed to feel shame and guilt and experience a loss of confidence in ourselves.

But honestly? As hard as it is for me to realize this for myself, giving up is not always the worst thing in the world - sometimes it's exactly the thing that you needed to do. Recently I've come into a situation where I know haven't been excelling in the position I've been holding, and despite all the hard work, time, and effort I invested in order to meet the rather high expectations and standards put on me, I just could not for the life of me get all my hard work to shine. Instead, it appeared as if I wasn't even trying. I found myself feeling so stressed out over something that used to give me a sense of satisfaction. The pressure I felt on myself to perform in a way that, despite my best intentions, felt completely unattainable to me was staggering. It's a cruel thing when a positive aspect in your life turns into a viciously negative thing.

Over time, I started to realize that this was becoming a toxic thing in my life. I was starting to feel completely resentful and felt like I was just going through the motions. All the stress had completely zapped away any passion I had felt for my position originally. I began to question my leadership skills and just my entire work ethic and personality in general. I watched as my colleagues were thriving while I felt like I was drowning. As soon as I made any progress, the metaphorical finish line seemed to move even further away. I felt like I was failing at being an effective leader, and couldn't help but analyze all of my perceived shortcomings. Basically, all of this burns down to one scathing question: why am I such a failure?

But then I realized: we are all failures. You're welcome, I just labeled every human being ever a failure. But really think about it. Nobody is perfect, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We can't all be great at cooking. We can't all be doctors. We can't all pen bestselling novels. We can't all be marathon runners. We can't all run large corporations. We can't all pass our driving test the first time. But why focus on all the things we can't do when we should be focusing on all the things we can do?

Even though there are things about my position that I do enjoy - things that also play towards my strengths - I have to realize that I'm not the best person for the job. That, for whatever reason, my personality is not fully equipped to find immense success in certain professional settings. And that's okay. It's okay to give up because sometimes that's the best thing you can do for yourself. If you find yourself in a toxic, stressful situation that doesn't seem to be changing no matter how long you're determined to stick it out, do yourself a favor and change courses as soon as possible. If it makes you feel better, don't think of it as giving up; think of it as letting go.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Self-Reflection Is Always Beneficial

Always ask yourself how you can improve your life.


Self reflection is an important part of growing up. It is important to sit back and think about who you are and who you strive to be. I think that dwelling on the past too much can be extremely harmful, but that a little bit of reflecting on your past can be great.

Think about it, every choice you have made in your life so far has led to where you are now. Every single choice, no matter how small it may have seemed, has had a major impact on your entire life. The choices we make definitely change the path that we take.

Most likely, every friend you made changed your outlook something. Every place you went to will remain in your memories. Maybe you experienced something because of certain choices that led you to learn a valuable lesson.

Maybe those dreadful things of your past needed to happen to allow you to grow. No one deserves to hurt, but sometimes hurting then healing can be replenishing.

I think we should value our lives because they are so unique. No one on this earth will have had the same experiences you have. Even if someone was following you around 27/4 or was literally joined at the hip with you, they would not have the same life as you, because their thoughts would be different from yours and their perspective would be different as well.

You will never get the same day twice, so it is important to make every day the best you can make it. Try to laugh in stressful situations. Try to breathe when there seems to be no air left for you. It is vital to keep moving forward. If you look back, you'll trip on everything in front of you. Do not look into your past and examine your mistakes negatively. We grow from mistakes. We live and we learn. Use those mistakes as a study guide to become a better you. Use your past to your advantage and try to give yourself a better future.

It is important to know that life is a roller-coaster with twist and turns, peaks, and sudden drops that will make you feel sick to your stomach and scared for what's waiting at the bottom. But if you fear life, you will never enjoy the fun parts.

Look back and examine yourself but don't write a novel about your mistakes. Move past them and live a better life. Spread love, be kind, and be grateful for what you have overcome. Those hurdles you went through have only made you stronger.

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