Black. White. Christian. Muslim. Hot. Cold. These are all labels, some more vital to our everyday existence than others. I, for one, very much want to know for sure which knob is hot and which is cold when taking a shower in an unfamiliar place. (Remind me to tell you all sometime about the time I scalded my back at a hotel in Pensacola the night before a big volleyball match...)

However, there's been a lot of talk lately in some circles about how labels for individuals should be done away with. “Labels are for soup cans, not people,” their memes state. And I don't agree, actually. Well, let me clarify. I don't believe people should label each other. I think hurtful labels need to go. But self-identified labels, ones that say, “Hey, world, this is who I am?” I'm all for them.

A friend of mine is schizophrenic. To some, that's a label, a limit. He refuses to allow it to be. He does his best to manage his condition, and he's aware that some people hear that diagnosis and run because they've been swayed by misinformation. But when he goes online to find others, like him, that “label” is a homing beacon of sorts – for support. He can find other individuals in the same boat and reach out to them. They can benefit from learning about his experiences and he can learn from theirs. They can trade tips about what's worked for them and what doesn't. That's opening an entirely new world, one that might not have existed without similar people finding each other.

“Labels are limits,” another meme says. To that, I say...only if you choose to let them be. I'm on the autism spectrum, with a lesser-known form of Asperger's syndrome. I “pass” for neurotypical, and because of that, if I had a dime for every time someone told me “oh, don't label yourself; it'll only limit you,” I'd be rich. They believe it's a limit, because of what society thinks about autistic disorders. I don't. I think it's a fabulous way to find other people who know exactly what I'm dealing with. Not only is there something to be said for visibility in destroying stigmas, but I can't tell you the relief I felt when I found out I have an actual neurobiological condition. I wasn't just a misfit. I wasn't alone. Do I automatically get along with everyone I've met after searching for others in my little corner of the spectrum? Certainly not. That's not realistic. But I've learned a lot more about how to manage things.

And then there's the labels that get so many people in an uproar. The specific ones applying to one's sexuality. Forget, for now, the people who seem to exist only to go online and scream about made-up sexualities and “I identify as an Apache helicopter.” Don't feed those trolls. Let's look instead at the genuinely well-meaning people. Your mileage may vary, of course, but I've found the great majority of those who insist, “I don't like labels,” in regards to their own sexuality are either straight and cisgender or bisexuals on television. (Yeah, I went there.) For them, they are the accepted “norm.” So I try to be patient, because they only see one side of things. They see people who are building an entire identity around their sexuality, something the average straight person doesn't think they spend a lot of time thinking about. But they do. They just have been conditioned to think that those thoughts are “natural” and “everyone does it.” Which is true. But when an LGBTQIA person has those thoughts, it's “obsessed with their sexuality.” No, it's the same normal thoughts, just geared to them. And these labels help us in the same ways I've noted with other issues.

True, “gay marriage” should just be called “marriage.” But until we get to the point where it's not constantly being threatened, we've got to have distinctions. And a straight person can't get fired at work for being straight, unless their behavior crosses a line. In too many places in America – and this world – a person who isn't straight or cisgender can be fired simply for existing. Instead of being worried for us, telling us, “just like who you like and don't worry about giving it a name,” I encourage would-be allies to fight for us. “That's not fair!” so many cry when they hear about these laws. No, it's not. But it would end a lot sooner if people rose up in numbers – including those who aren't directly affected – to help abolish such discrimination. Don't speak over us, but please join with us.

Now, there are people who do reject labels for themselves, personally. And that's fine, actually. Only you can decide what you're comfortable with. But don't take them from those of us who find comfort in them. For some people, it's literally the difference between isolation and companionship. In other words, you do you and I'll do me. I have a feeling we'll all be happier that way.