With the New Year approaching us fast, many of us may find ourselves reflecting on various current situations in our lives. In the late hours of the night, we may be wondering how our actions have affected other people, or why their actions had such a significant impact on us. In between reading the lines of the book you told yourself you would finish reading, you may catch yourself daydreaming about the alternative scenarios: what you could have said, what you should have said, what you would have done, what you need to do. In reality, you are probably just sitting there, in your own world trying to make sense of everything and trying to put all the pieces together.
Many people probably think that life doesn’t get any easier as we get older and there is probably some truth to that. As the facades of the world in which we live, of the people with whom we dwell are revealed to us, it can seem as though everything is a bit unfair, or unjust, or just plain complicated. But it’s about perspective – things don’t have to be so complex if you really don’t want them to be. Now, I’m not saying that means that you should ignore the situation at hand for the sake of living a simple, hassle-free life. That’s just silly. What I’m saying is, if you find yourself stuck in a limbo, here are three very simple ways you can think and approach those situations in the most mature, uncomplicated manner.
1. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we can all get a little bit wrapped up in our own heads. One week we think we’ve figured out what we want, the next week everything’s changed and for some reason we want something else. All the while, we may have no clue on how to find the solution to whatever it is that we are searching for or seeking. The truth of the matter is, if you really truly think about it, you probably know exactly what you want. What you don’t know is how getting what you want could affect you in the long run, or could affect others that may be involved. For that reason, take some time for yourself – think about the pros and cons. Or maybe what you want is something you just can’t rationalize about ahead of time, it just has to be something you need to try first – whether that’s academically, professionally, or personally, but again, that’s something that you have to realize for yourself.
2. Be honest with others. So you’ve figured yourself out. That’s great! Now you know that pursuing a degree in economics isn’t for you even though your mother has already pulled some strings and set up summer internships for you. Or maybe now you know that those feelings you were having for that person don’t actually exist anymore. Or maybe now you’ve realized a whole lot of things. But the important part about all of this is, if whatever it is that you now know you want can affect the actions, decisions, or emotions of other people – then be honest with them. Try your best to tell them what is going through your head, how or why you rationalized through something, and why you made the decisions you’ve made.
3. Communicate. Being honest and communicating go hand in hand, you can’t have one without the other. Now you might be thinking to yourself, well gosh, that’s a lot of talking involved – is that even necessary? Yes, it is. While we may have instincts or inklings about something, we’re not mind-readers, so it’s rather silly to assume that others will understand whatever it is that you are indirectly implying. So if there is something to be said – just say it. Oh, there wasn’t an opportunity to talk about it? That’s a load of bull. Find some courage to talk about it, so as to ensure that you’re not wasting anyone else’s time, energy, or resources. In fact, if you happen to be on the other end of this, if you are questioning someone else’s intentions with regards to you, just ask them up front.
Life is complicated because we’re complicated beings. We have the tendency to make what can be very simple into something much more than it has to be. The truth is, there is no gray area. I’m not saying that for all things there is one right answer or one wrong answer, I’m saying that it is better to come up with an answer, a solution, a decision, than to leave someone else, or yourself hanging. So for 2016, for the sake of your sanity and of others, let's all try to make things a little less complicated – it's doable, trust me.
