One of the best pieces of advice I think I’ve ever received was this quote, “what other people in the world think of you is really none of your business” from Martha Graham. It’s something that every time I hear it I’m reminded that doing things for yourself is so incredibly important.
What strikes me about this quote the most is the certain degree of selfishness that it captures. There’s something to be said about being young, or at least that’s what the old people tell me. It’s one of the only times in your life where you are your only worry in the world. Nearly every decision you make in life will solely be for yourself, who you hang out with, what you do with those people, what classes you take, and whether or not you attend those classes, all the way down to the simplest things, like what you’ll have for dinner on any given night. Experiencing these types of decisions, even the most minuscule, has shown me that those old people were onto something here.
To me, this quote also embodies the idea that ignorance is bliss, but in the least ignorant way, if that makes sense. It approaches any type of gossip or talk about yourself in the most mature way, that nothing anyone could say about you or your actions should matter to you. Anything negative anyone could say shouldn’t matter because it was what made you happy. If I want to have cake and cereal for dinner (which I have done on more than one occasion) then I will, and if anyone thinks that’s weird or will make me gain the freshman 15, that’s their problem because it was pretty darn satisfying for me. And if anyone were to think that a course I’m taking is a waste of time I wouldn’t want to know, because yes, I am taking math 100 next semester, and maybe you think that makes me dumb, but that’s none of my business because I know that I’m just awful at math. I’m doing things for me, because it’s what makes me happy and what I think is best for me, and your two cents really shouldn’t and won’t make a difference.
This idea also works in reverse, if someone were to think so highly of me, I don’t need to know that either. My goal in life should be to please myself, not to please others and seek their constant praise. In my life, my biggest example of this would be these articles, I started writing them for myself, and I write about topics that I think need to be talked about. Of course, I love when lots of people relate to what I write about and read my article and share it and the positive feedback is amazing, but if I produce a piece that I’m proud of and enjoy I can’t really ask much more from myself. All the other stuff is really just icing on the cake.
You’re only young once, so the way I see it, do everything you can for yourself before one day you wake up with a crying baby and can’t remember the last time you and your husband went out on a date just the two of you. And you can’t do what makes you the happiest if you’re too busy being worried about what people will think about your choices.
It’s none of your business what other people think of you, the only thing that’s your business is how to live the life that’s best for you.
