Self-love is something you lack, denial is one of your strongest qualities.
He loves you. He cares for you. He would never hurt you. Just like he repeated over 1,000 times. He said so himself. This is to the girls who experienced a toxic relationship, the girls who got out of that toxic relationship and the girls who may not even realize they're in one.
Does he make you feel like a princess? Do you love him? Does he make you truly happy? Does he love you? You may be answering yes to all of these questions, but now I'm going to ask you a different set of questions. Does he make you feel less than him? Do you hate him? Does he make you truly happy? Are you sure he loves you? Just like the other questions, you may be answering yes to all of these questions, too.
A toxic relationship is hard to see if you're the one in it. You may be hearing "he's no good for you" or "you deserve better" from many other people. From people who actually love you and actually care for you -- but you don't and will not listen due to the fact that you can't see it and may never see it until it's too late. It isn't until he really did it this time and you find yourself crying on the bathroom floor with no one but yourself. Why are you by yourself? Because the person who loved you didn't truly love you.
He will make you feel that you need him. That without him there is no you, as if you're worthless. He will make you feel that no one will ever love you again and that you're just lucky this time. You will be hopelessly devoted to him but he may not be hopelessly devoted to only you. It will take time to realize what is actually going on; it will take time to grow enough strength to leave him, to finally put yourself first. It may take something like him cheating or putting his hands on you to get you to leave, but I promise you that as soon as you do, your life will officially start.
You will no longer feel scared that he is going to leave you because you don't have the feeling of needing someone weighing on your shoulders. You will no longer have to worry about what he is doing because the trust was never there. You will no longer have to act happy because you knew deep down that your face was smiling but your heart was broken. The day you leave him will be the day that you start to love yourself; until that day, no one will ever be able to love you because you don't love yourself.
There will be times that you think you miss him, but in reality, you're missing what you thought you had with him. There will be times where he tries to reach out to you and smuggle his way back into your vulnerable heart. There will also be times that you think one more try at the relationship won't hurt. Darling, I have news for you -- people don't and will not change. You keep your strength so close that no one even has the chance of taking it away. You build walls up so high that no one other than yourself can break them down. Do what you have to do to repair your broken heart. There will be times where you're lonely and sad, but there will also be times where you are the happiest you have ever been, feeling as free as you have ever felt. Those are the days you will live for.
He was wrong, without him, there is a better you than anyone has ever seen. You aren't worthless. And guess what? You found someone else who truly does love you, so it wasn't just luck. This someone will not only treat you the way you should be treated, but he will be able to love you much easier because you learned to love yourself. Your walls will be high, your heart scared and scarred, your mind full of thoughts and memories you wish you could forget. Take the lessons the selfish, heartless and negative person taught you and turn them into something amazing. Keep that experience close and dear to your heart because those were the best mistakes you have ever made and have ever learned from.
Not only do you now have someone who is the Mickey to your Minnie, but you also have someone who loves you more than anyone else ever could -- that person is you. Denial is something you lack, self-love is one of your strongest qualities.
