It's Always Been About You
Start writing a post

It's Always Been About You

And it should start being about me.

It's Always Been About You
Nicole Rucka

Some days it's easy to forget about you, while other days are torture. For instance, tonight, I started to think about you. I started listening to sad songs, like that one by Adele called "Home." Then started looking through old photos of us. I started sobbing, crying my heart out about you, about us, about what we became.

It’s not that I miss you entirely, it's that I miss the way you used to be, how we were, not how we are now, or how we were becoming. We used to be in love with each other. We gave each other compliments, always wanted to be hand in hand together with nobody else. We loved each other to the fullest…well, we did at least. I know I did…

I loved your flaws. I loved you picking on me. I loved you trying to get a rise out of me. I loved the way you talked, and walked, and acted. I loved everything about you. While my family didn't really love anything about you, I found something I did love in you. Which is okay. I loved your charm, the way you could light up a room by just one word. I loved how passionate you got about your hobbies. Yes, they weren't hobbies I was thrilled with at all..but they made you happy, so it made me happy. I loved how into me you were, how I was basically your world. The only person you would text or call late at night or in the early mornings. How I was the only person you would kiss goodnight or good morning.

The way you said I love you all the time, I took it for granted. I never thought there would be a day you would stop. I thought the loved that we shared would forever grow and become stronger, better, and futuristic. But sadly I became wrong, we became wrong for each other.

The more we dated, the more we grew apart. I didn't see it. I didn't see us drifting when I was in it. I honestly thought you were my soulmate. That you were the one for me, we would be old and married and have kids, and eventually, my family would come around and love you like I did. However, as time wore on, things started to change.

I could see it in my own eyes, and I'm sure you could too. I felt it, not from me personally, but from you. I felt that you were losing the feeling you once had of me. You weren't in love with me anymore. Oh god, I could feel it. Trust me. When we would sleep together, we were more like roommates than in a relationship. I felt so alone at night and I would be lying right next to you. There would be some nights you wouldn't even sleep with me. It was hard for awhile because I tried to fight for you, silently. I tried anything and everything to win you back in some way or another by little and big things, but it didn't work. You always had a reason for getting mad at me.

All my head wants to do is think of the good times, but honestly, I know in my heart there weren't that many good times. Basically, every time I would come home from work or school, you would be playing a video game called Destiny. When we would eat we would barely talk to each other because you would still be playing your video game. Then I would do some homework and go to bed while you wouldn't go to bed til 2 am. Then the next day it would be the same cycle. If it wasn't video games it would be Yugio with your friends. We never had time together and if I ever complained or talked to you about it, it would be me bitching at you and you would be mad at ame and ignore me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

- Since my late teens, I have had wavy, unruly hair that is susceptible to frizz from heat damage.

- I've made a conscious effort to try and eliminate heat styling products from my hair regimen in order to do less damage in the form of split ends and hair loss.

- When I first tried Tineco's MODA ONE Smart Ionic Hair Dryer, I was immediately amazed by how quickly it dried my thick strands and how straight/sleek my hair was with minimal work.

Up to my late teen years, my thick, soft, silky straight hair was the envy of nearly everyone I encountered. I totally took it for granted till my hair began to evolve into being more wavy and unruly with random patches of wavy and straight hair.

Keep Reading... Show less

"Schitt's Creek" has quickly become an absolute fan favorite in the US and Canada and their seven wins at the Emmy Awards last night proves just that.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Ideas For A Cozy Date Night In When It's Just Too Chilly To Go Outside

Because sometimes you just need to be snuggled up with your boo.


Yup, like most things, summer must come to an end, but just because summer is ending doesn't mean date nights have to end with it. Sure, there will be no more water park trips or picnic dates for a while, but surely there are many more date night ideas you don't need a clear sky and 80+ degree day to make happen.

That's what this list is for. Below are 10 ideas for date nights inside so that while you're stoking the fire at home this fall and winter, you're also keeping the fire alive in your relationship.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

The Steelers Are Honoring Antwon Rose Jr., A Victim Of Police Brutality, For The 2020 Season

The Pittsburgh Steelers have united by wearing the name of a victim of police brutality, Antwon Rose Jr., for the 2020 NFL season.


NFL players are permitted to wear decals on their helmets this season in honor of victims of systemic racism. However, the Pittsburgh Steelers have decided to unite and all wear the same name on their helmets this season: Antwon Rose Jr.

Keep Reading... Show less

I will preach this until the day I'm in the ground, nudes are an essential.

They are just as essential as toilet paper is right now and they have more power than just being a photo that's hidden on your iPhone. Nudes aren't just a way to turn on the guy/girl you've been hanging out with, but they can elicit a feeling of confidence and pure sexuality.

Keep Reading... Show less

During the pandemic, I've found out so much about myself by being single. I've learned that self-care comes first, I don't have to worry about impressing anyone else with my cooking skills other than myself, and it's perfectly OK to date yourself. So, for my fellow singles, here are 11 at home solo-date ideas (that are COVID-19 friendly) you can partake in any time you want to, to rock the single life this fall.

Keep Reading... Show less

Just when we thought 2020 couldn't get any more unpredictable, we find out that Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died at 87 of complications from pancreatic cancer.

Regardless of where you might stand politically, you can't deny that the was a very honorable woman, who has accomplished a lot in her lifetime. Writing majority opinions for many cases such as United States v. Virginia, and Olmstead v. L.C., she has paved the way for many women, showing that no matter what obstacles stand in your way, you can achieve your goals.

Keep Reading... Show less

These are just a few of my favorite responses! Please read and enjoy. This is probably some of the best advice you will read!

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Coronavirus, The Arizona State Legislature, And The 2020 Election

The Arizona State Legislature might shift its majority in the House and Senate come 2021.


Arizona State Senator Martín Quezada spoke today on legislative changes that may occur in 2021 due to the possibility of Arizona becoming a bipartisan state.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments