Some days it's easy to forget about you, while other days are torture. For instance, tonight, I started to think about you. I started listening to sad songs, like that one by Adele called "Home." Then started looking through old photos of us. I started sobbing, crying my heart out about you, about us, about what we became.
It’s not that I miss you entirely, it's that I miss the way you used to be, how we were, not how we are now, or how we were becoming. We used to be so..so in love with each other. We gave each other compliments, always wanted to be hand in hand together with nobody else. We loved each other to the fullest…well, we did at least. I know I did…
I loved your flaws. I loved you picking on me. I loved you trying to get a rise out of me. I loved the way you talked, and walked, and acted. I loved everything about you. While my family didn't really love anything about you, I found something I did love in you. Which is okay. I loved your charm, the way you could light up a room by just one word. I loved how passionate you got about your hobbies. Yes, they weren't hobbies I was thrilled with at all..but they made you happy, so it made me happy. I loved how into me you were, how I was basically your world. The only person you would text or call late at night or in the early mornings. How I was the only person you would kiss goodnight or good morning.
The way you said I love you all the time, I took it for granted. I never thought there would be a day you would stop. I thought the loved that we shared would forever grow and become stronger, better, and futuristic. But sadly I became wrong, we became wrong for each other.
The more we dated, the more we grew apart. I didn't see it. I didn't see us drifting when I was in it. I honestly thought you were my soulmate. That you were the one for me, we would be old and married and have kids, and eventually, my family would come around and love you like I did. However, as time wore on, things started to change.
I could see it in my own eyes, and I'm sure you could too. I felt it, not from me personally, but from you. I felt that you were losing the feeling you once had of me. You weren't in love with me anymore. Oh god, I could feel it. Trust me. When we would sleep together, we were more like roommates than in a relationship. I felt so alone at night and I would be lying right next to you. There would be some nights you wouldn't even sleep with me. It was hard for awhile because I tried to fight for you, silently. I tried anything and everything to win you back in some way or another by little and big things, but it didn't work. You always had a reason for getting mad at me.
All my head wants to do is think of the good times, but honestly, I know in my heart there weren't that many good times. Basically, every time I would come home from work or school, you would be playing a video game called Destiny. When we would eat we would barely talk to each other because you would still be playing your video game. Then I would do some homework and go to bed while you wouldn't go to bed til 2 am. Then the next day it would be the same cycle. If it wasn't video games it would be Yugio with your friends. We never had time together and if I ever complained or talked to you about it, it would be me bitching at you and you would be mad at ame and ignore me.