I cry a lot. Basically all the time. It doesn't matter where or when- watching Disney movies, when I get angry, or talking about cheetahs and dogs playing together at the San Diego Zoo- if I see or hear something that infuriates me, inspires me, or overwhelms me, the chance that my eyes will turn into wave pools is very likely. But why does this happen?
The term "angry tears" is aptly fitting for my life and for many young people that I know. An instructor at school once said some pretty harsh things to me, and I instantly felt my face grow hot, my lip quiver, and my throat constrict. I had about a thousand comments in my head that I could've said, but instead I cried for an hour. It only made me feel worse that I was blubbering like a child. This occurs because young people are usually more in tune with their emotions, so our tears often betray us and indicate how we're really feeling. Crying is simply a sign that something needs to be addressed or relieved, not that you're weak.
My favorite poet, Rupi Kaur, has a piece in her anthology "Milk and Honey" (which is insanely brilliant, by the way) that states, "to be soft is to be powerful." I whole-heartedly agree. I have one of the biggest hearts and I am incredibly soft at points, but that doesn't make me a lesser person. I'm also incredibly tough (as I am known for telling people when something happens that forces me to be tough), but that doesn't make me cold either. In a world filled with both beautiful and frightening things, it's okay to let yourself be overwhelmed sometimes. Showing how you feel doesn't make you any less weak, just like disguising your emotions doesn't make you any more stoic. Tears just show you that what's happening matters.
Last November, a man named Aaron Gillies went viral online for sharing a list of reasons of why his girlfriend had cried for a month. Some of them include "she watched a video about a dog," "I waited until it was dark and pretended to be the Babadook," and "she found out swans can be gay and thought it was really nice." Honestly same. I've cried over videos of baby otters eating cat food, when I found out that the cough drops I had been eating were actually supplement drops with no medicine in them, and whenever I see pictures of puppy police dogs. I cry whenever I watch "We Bought a Zoo," when I drop food on the floor or when I have to say goodbye to my friends. I don't shut myself off from how I feel.
"Anger is supposed to be unfeminine, so we suppress it until it overflows," said Gloria Steinem. Crying doesn't make you pathetic, or soft, or feminine. It makes you human. So go ahead, listen to Bon Iver in the rain. Watch videos of unlikely animal friendships. Cry your eyes out and let yourself live.
